Year: 2012
Rush Limbaugh Loses It
Claims Barack Obama is former member of Insane Clown Posse, and has pictures to back it up.
The End of Freedom in America. Blame it on the Tyranny of Obamacare
If you’re like most patriotic, big government-distrusting Americans, you are probably experiencing a range of emotions right now, from anger to rage to angerful rage. It’s a dark day in America thanks to the dreaded OBAMACARE Act of 2010, which…
Major Continuity Error in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Sees Batman Unveil Really High Pitched Voice
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Having lined up for four hours to watch the latest installment of the Batman saga Thursday, fans of the series were left stunned as a major continuity flaw saw Christian Bale introduce a significantly higher register to…
World Stops to Mourn Victims of Theater Shooting
“It was weird,” Hector Santiago, a thug for a Mexican drug cartel, said through a translator, “I could tell something just happened – something more important – because suddenly I knew I couldn’t kill this police officer; it would make…
Charlton Heston Returns From Grave To Protect Colorad Gun Rights Despite Batman Theater Shootings
The iconic movie matinee idol Charlton Heston has risen from the dead like a neo Jesus Christ to stick up for his National Rifle Association buddies after a gunman shot 70 people, killing 12 including children, at a midnight Batman…
Historic Accord Reached in Siblings’ Bitter Territorial Dispute
In major concessions by both sides, boy agrees to stop touching sister’s stuff in exchange for her ceasing to refer to him as “Snot Face.” SPOKANE, WA – Negotiators are expressing hopes for a new era of reconciliation and peaceful…
Freaking Journalist Agitates Candidates, Deemed “Terrorist”
Police are on the look out for a rouge freelance journalist suspected of reckless disregard of media protocol and assault with a rhetorical question. The unknown journalist first struck at a Romney campaign stop in New Hampshire and asked about…
Shocking Crime Wave Blows Across Nation
A terrifying new criminal is on the loose and officials appear powerless to stop him. In a small town in the UK an elderly gentleman was thrown to his knees and robbed of his newspaper that he had only just purchased. Battered and shaken he shared his shocking ordeal.
Being Attacked By A Horde Of Blood Maddened Zombies Is Not Fun
Hello folks. How are things going for you? That’s good. At the moment I am hold up in an abandoned farmhouse in the Midwest. I have it boarded up and sealed off as much as possible. I don’t do this…
The Nine Things Mitt Romney is Hiding in His Tax Returns
Anne Romney took to the talk shows to defend her husbands historically unprecedented decision not to release his tax returns. “You know, you should really look at where Mitt has led his life, and where he’s been financially,” she said…