Month: November 2012
Sick of White House Petitions? Here’s the Cure
GlossyNews.com editor Dexter Sinistri recently submitted a petition for single-payer healthcare which met the threshold and is now live on their site… but he has another petition, one to put all petitions to shame. UPDATE: 11/20/12 – This morning the…
Coalition Government Targets “Work-Shy” Slackers
In an official statement released only to the Daily Mail and the Daily Express, the Coalition government, made up of the Conservative and the Liberal Democrat parties, announced that they would be using the Work Capability Assessment (WCA) on another…
Conservatives Enter Welcomed Death Spiral on Benghazi
Conservatives really want to make a big deal out of this, but it just isn’t. They can’t understand why nobody cares, but nobody does, and it’s because embassies are safer under Obama than Bush. You want answers, right? This is…
ATOS Declares Dead Man Fit for Work
In a shocking lapse of judgement last week, an assessor from ATOS Origin placed James Wright, 62, in the ‘fit for work’ group mere moments after he had suffered a fatal stroke. “It was a nightmare,” Rosemary, Mr. Wright’s widow,…
The Budding U.S.-al-Qaeda Reconciliation
The US and al-Qaeda find themselves on the same side again. Ayman al-Zawarhiri, the top leader of al-Qaeda has issued a call for a religious war against Syria, as has Hilary Clinton, the US Secretary of State. I caught up…
Despite Defeat, Romney Vows to Keep Running
Mitt Romney has reportedly been admitted to Massachusetts General Hospital with what is being described as a severe case of political addiction. Sources close to the Republican presidential nominee say that his defeat in this year’s election revealed the previously…
Girl Scouts Rappel Off the Fiscal Cliff for IKEA
DENVER–One hundred girls celebrated the one hundredth anniversary of the Girl Scouts today by dangling off the fiscal cliff. All participants wore safety gear while standing on the rungs of a mile-long rope ladder lashed together by scouts rocking the…
Common Sense Files to Secede from The Union
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following a number of high profile lapses in ordinary, rational behavior across the country in recent months, “common sense” put forward a petition Friday to secede from the United States. Filing its petition on the White House’s…
Operation Pillar of Cloud: Jewish Feds raise $5 million for both victims
Within days of the Israeli attack on Gaza, code named Pillar of Cloud (Hebrew) and Pillar of Defense (English), the Jewish Federations of North America announced that they had raised an astonishing $5 million for the victims. When I told…
Woman Delivers World’s Fattest Triplets In Miracle Birth, NFL Promises Signing Bonus
Sacramento, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A California woman may have broken a world record when she gave birth a set of triplets who weighed more than 30 pounds each. Bertha Krebs gave birth to triplet boys last Thursday in Sacramento, California…