Categorized | Sports

Woman Delivers World’s Fattest Triplets In Miracle Birth, NFL Promises Signing Bonus!

Woman Delivers World’s Fattest Triplets In Miracle Birth, NFL Promises Signing Bonus!

Sacramento, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A California woman may have broken a world record when she gave birth a set of triplets who weighed more than 30 pounds each.

Bertha Krebs gave birth to triplet boys last Thursday in Sacramento, California Each of the triplet boys weighed more than 30 pounds each which surpasses a birth weight record recorded in Dorking, England in 1984 where a woman gave birth to a baby weighing 27 pounds.

PHOTO INSERT: Baby number two…’Little’ Michael Moore Krebs… Shown as Dr. Hodges pulled him from his mother’s womb this past week in Sacramento, California. All three babies are doing well and seem to love their special diet of banana cream pie and potted meat.

In 2001, North Carolina a baby named Honey Boo Boo tipped the scale at 21 pounds, 11 ounces, according to the Guinness Book of World Records. Guiness Book is looking into this case to verify if it breaks the world record.

The Kreb’s newborns were immediately placed in custom made titanium incubators and were given pureed bacon and cheese grits.

Krebs said she wanted to have a healthy pregnancy…but she still ate 16,000 calories each day.

“We are really excited,” said Dr. Gilbert Hodges of Sacramento Memorial Hospital. “A couple of years ago, we started a program called The Big Spanking Babies Program. This was to help mother’s with multiple gestations in an effort to make their transition through the pregnancy and afterward as smooth as humanly possible. And she is one of our best graduates.”

Hodges compared the babies’ weight to that of a NFL linebacker. Hodges remarked that the newborns remind him of the Dallas Cowboys since they cry alot and seem to have a load in their diapers when it comes to running the ball.

Miracuously, Krebs (a registered nurse) said she’s already lost 90 pounds since the babies were born. A spokesman for the NFL Player’s League promises to help the tots secure a contract with an NFL team once they reach the age of 8 years old.

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 119 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Hello, I'm Bargis Tryhol and currently live somewhere in the southern part of the USA. I have been writing humor for quite a few years and love to make fun of the liberals who in recent years seem to be falling by the wayside in droves. My online following is fairly large now, so a big 'shout out' to all who have embraced my lopsided humor. I do appreciate the support. You can visit my website Satire World for more outrageous humor.... SatireWorld.com Comments or retribution? Bargistryhol@aol.com

.

One Response to “Woman Delivers World’s Fattest Triplets In Miracle Birth, NFL Promises Signing Bonus!”

  1. rfreed says:

    Wait a minute…..I thought the Michelin Man was French?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Glossy News Fake Commercials!


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

13 posts
6 posts
5 posts
2 posts


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial