Categorized | Politics

Despite Defeat, Romney Vows to Keep Running

Despite Defeat, Romney Vows to Keep Running

Mitt Romney has reportedly been admitted to Massachusetts General Hospital with what is being described as a severe case of political addiction.

Sources close to the Republican presidential nominee say that his defeat in this year’s election revealed the previously unsuspected ailment. Doctor Phillip Morris of Mass General’s crack psychiatric unit assessed Mr. Romney and made the initial diagnosis.

RIGHT: Doesn’t he look tired? Doesn’t he look ten-years older than he did just four-years ago? (CLICK PHOTO TO ENGORGE)

“I think it’s pretty clear that the patient is suffering from political addiction,” said Dr. Morris. “The fact that the election has ended and yet he continues to deliver his stump speech and give vague and ambiguous answers to the simplest of questions was a dead giveaway.”

“Let’s face it,” said Morris. “Candidates for president are not what you would call normal to begin with but most of them know when to stop. Mr. Romney seems to lack that particular ability.”

Beginning in 2007 when he started his unsuccessful campaign for the 2008 Republican nomination, Mr. Romney has done nothing but run for president. His 2008 campaign seamlessly morphed into his 2012 campaign.

“When I interviewed Mr. Romney,” said Dr. Morris. “It was clear that he could not stop running for president. He’s not what we call in the business “completely nuts” since he knows the U. S. presidency is now out of reach for him. But I am concerned that he still insists on running for president of something.”

The doctor’s observation seems to have been confirmed by a recent Romney press release announcing his candidacy for the presidency of Honduras in their upcoming 2013 elections. Citing his father’s birth in Mexico, his support of self-deportation for illegal Hispanic immigrants and his expertise in outsourcing American jobs to lesser developed countries, Romney has touted himself as the perfect choice to lead that country or, for that matter, any country.

In the event of a Honduran defeat and an unsuccessful medication regimen, Mr. Romney is apparently considering a run for president of Afghanistan or Slovakia in 2014 and, if necessary, his local chamber of commerce in 2015.


This post was written by

- who has written 42 posts on

Dave Martin's humor and political satire have appeared in many major North American newspapers including The N. Y. Times, The Washington Post and The Chicago Tribune. His latest humor collection is entitled "Screams & Whispers" available on and he blogs at


One Response to “Despite Defeat, Romney Vows to Keep Running”

  1. Susan L. says:

    The caption says it all. He’s aged AGES since he ran in 2008 and that’s good by me. He deserves to age quickly and die a quick death. To hell with him.


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial