Categorized | Human Interest

Girl Scouts Rappel Off the Fiscal Cliff for IKEA

Girl Scouts Rappel Off the Fiscal Cliff for IKEA

DENVER–One hundred girls celebrated the one hundredth anniversary of the Girl Scouts today by dangling off the fiscal cliff.

All participants wore safety gear while standing on the rungs of a mile-long rope ladder lashed together by scouts rocking the National Election Day Jamboree.

“Some politicians believe going off the fiscal cliff won’t damage the economy,” offered a Scout leader. “We’re here to show one loose knot and it’s all over.” A collective scream stopped her short. “Oh look. It’s happening now! Wave, girls! Our founder, Juliette Gordon Lowe would be so proud!”

In other youth organizer news, IKEA revealed Girl Scouts worked for merit badges on company production lines back in the 1980’s. Valued for slender, tiny fingers that quickly counted out nuts, bolts and screws bagged for use in assembling furniture at home, the Swedish company is launching an investigation into accusations that brunette scouts of German descent named Anne were forced to toss in extra hardware to screw with the heads of less-than-handy customers attempting to recreate what “looked-so-simple-in-the-store” but at last turn of the galvanized screw, smacked more of postmodern cat scratching post than Fjelsee bed or Poang chair.

More than 59 million women in the United States are Girl Scout alumnae. All—on my honor–are dutiful overachievers with a penchant for military dress (preferably adorned with “fruit salad”) and an eye for a smartly tipped beret in any shade of green.


This post was written by

- who has written 32 posts on

Ask anyone who knows me, I'd stop St. Peter's roll call to start a conversation. I'm a longtime Florida resident blessed with the gift of gab. Stop by and Talk to Me.


4 Responses to “Girl Scouts Rappel Off the Fiscal Cliff for IKEA”

  1. Talk Shatsky says:

    And yes, before anyone can imply otherwise, I indeed was a Girl Scout back in the day. Not so much a willing Scout, but that is a story for another day….

  2. Literally….does that mean you scouted for girls? Wow! I did the same thing too!

  3. Susan L. says:

    I’m straight, but that’s a cute girl.


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial