Categorized | Health, Human Interest

ATOS Declares Dead Man Fit for Work

ATOS Declares Dead Man Fit for Work

In a shocking lapse of judgement last week, an assessor from ATOS Origin placed James Wright, 62, in the ‘fit for work’ group mere moments after he had suffered a fatal stroke.

“It was a nightmare,” Rosemary, Mr. Wright’s widow, stated. “The doctor assessing James asked him to stand up, so he did before slumping into a squatting position. The doctor took one look at him and said, ‘I’m placing you in the Work Program.’

Then he got up and shook James’s shoulder, and when he fell over, said that he’d be back when James had finished his ‘play-acting.’ It was quite obvious that he was dead.

What’s worse is that I received a letter from the DWP (Department of Work and Pensions) this morning informing me that James’s Job Seekers’ Allowance had been stopped because of his non-attendance at his work experience. I’d already informed them of his death the day after it happened!”

It seems to this reporter that ATOS assessors are so busy licking Tory boots that not only do they not notice when people are dying, they also don’t realize when people are actually dead. Of course, Mrs. Wright is a retired State Enrolled Nurse, whereas ATOS assessors receive no medical training whatsoever. Perhaps that’s why the man made such an egregious error.

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- who has written 24 posts on GlossyNews.com.

As an Autie with a very warped imagination (IOO) and an extremely wicked sense of humour (IMO), I make quite a good satirist (also IMO), especially when writing songs about fanfiction, the Internet, or Disney.

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22 Responses to “ATOS Declares Dead Man Fit for Work”

  1. Robbie says:

    I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all. I have a friend who uses crutches to get around since he was hit by a drunk driver and he’s been turned down for social security twice. Obviously he can go back to work in construction so why can’t a dead man work?

  2. Skep says:

    Please clarify this story as legitimate or satire.

  3. Brian White says:

    Hey Skep… it is satire. Not real… unless you WANT it to be. Then we can talk, but mind you, money is the only language I speak aside from English, and frankly, my English isn't that good.

  4. People will believe what they want and it is my opinion that this is a bit of creative writing. HOWEVER, you don't have to be that 'creative' to write the truth – and satire is a way of conveying that truth. I ACTUALLY know someone who was declared fit for work who died in the same week; and he didn't take his own life, he was in the advanced stages of cancer and was undergoing his 'final' course of chemotherapy, if the chemo did not work that time, he wasn't going to receive the treatment again. Dead!

  5. Skep says:

    Ah thanks. Just there there are so many true articles in UK just now that are so similar in content. As you probably know this WCA is causing thousands of deaths. This story could actually be truth rather than satire.

  6. Grayling says:

    There has been accounts which could possibly be verified , of people dying in #ATOS waiting rooms – then there is the suspicious number of deaths whilst in the ATOS / DWP Kafkaesque system – and also accounts of people obviously having not to go and claimants being awarded the correct benefits posthumously when #ATOS / DWP have lost yet another tribunal …can’t even get their crooked UNUM influenced scams right .

    The right don’t like it , they’ll say they’re just ” collateral damage ” , working people die anyway …let’s just say it’s way beyond the realms of coincidence .

    If this is a satire , it’s not that exaggerated for effect at all .

  7. Mike Kelly says:

    Nice, loved the story.

  8. Sue Marsh says:

    I have just seen this tweeted as fact. This situation is beyond satire – you cannot possibly think of any Atos scenario that won't have actually happened.
    I write about this stuff every day and thousands of people are absolutely terrified of it all.

    My friend, Karen Sherlock died having been found fit for work and people have been found fit for work in a coma and minutes after having a massive heart attack tbh, I'd be very grateful if you would add something at the start of your blog to make clear that it is satire.

    Thanks in advance.

  9. Sarah Ismail says:

    Well said, Sue. Personally, I don't find this funny at all.

  10. Harry says:

    I died three weeks ago and have just received a letter from ATOS stating that “being dead” is not sufficient reason for failing to attend a Work Focussed Interview, so my widow is going to be dragged through the streets and burned on a pyre made from all of our chattels.

  11. Gloria Preston says:

    Sadly all too believable.

  12. Well said Sue Marsh.
    If this is a joke, not only is it in very poor taste, but it does no favours for people in a position to be facing the WCA.
    We don't need any codding to provide ammunition for the Tory press and their readers.
    They will start claiming genuine stories as being fictitious and not believe the facts.

  13. Grayling says:

    Sorry I should have said there has been an account(s) of people found dead after the appointments in #ATOS waiting rooms ….it could be possible …stress…plausible stories about people in said waiting areas who would appear to have ” not long to go ” …….there was one account of the person behind ” After Atos ” going to a #ATOS recruitment evening and the jist of one of their ” representatives ” statement was basically ” we don’t care ” or words to that effect and it’s nothing to do with us …not in our remit ….if a claimant was obviously seriously ill / injured etc

    Some #ATOS staff really do appear to think they are doing the country a favour turning people down ….more money for hospitals and schools as justification …according to the message boards . ” Interesting ” ? . Arrogating state functions to these outfits is an extreme form of corporatism …reminiscent of the Mussolini era in WW2 …there are fine lines .

    Also there has been reported cases , when a #ATOS / DWP letter ” fit for work ” letter has arrived after a funeral ….the DWP awarding correct benefits to someone’s estate ….and someone’s widow being told when arriving at a tribunal that the deceased will be awarded benefits .

    I agree with Sue Marsh’s well made comments and yes – Do not give the Tory papers , the Tory Party HO trolls , and the shill trolls working for PR firms on behalf of #ATOS / UNUM ( formerly the outlawed Stateside & Worldwide UNUM Provident parroting off Sir Douglas Bader / Sir Steve Redgrave / Stephen Hawking copes / coped …….ammunition as I said before .

  14. Ciara Doyle says:

    I totally agree, I was discussing yesterday if it was satire or not. It is so close to real occurances, and just written in a way that implied its someones idea of a 'joke'. I certainly didn't laugh.

  15. Dan Smith says:

    No, it loses all impact as satire if you're told that it is satire beforehand. The best satire is the stuff where you don't know whether it is satire or not.

  16. Lisa-faye Stokes says:

    My brother was told fit for work after suffering a masive stroke he can hardly speak has poor motor skills is unable to read or write and words and numbers don't mean anything to him, I guess he should get a Job for ATOS he could go straight in at the top!

  17. Julia says:

    I don’t get JSA but get NI credits as unfit for work. Last medical I had, I collapsed in the waiting room and had to be carried into the “doctors” office. He said I was in no fit state to undergo a medical (erm-this is one of the REASONS I CAN’T work) and could I come back tomorrow?!?! My hubby kicked up a storm and I got a home visit eventually. And declared unfit for work!

  18. Tamsin Sutherland says:

    NOT FUNNY. Too close to the truth and your woeful website doesn’t make it clear that this is ‘satire’. Which it isn’t – just a cheap gag badly executed.

  19. Maggi Wolf says:

    This particular piece of satire is too damn close to the truth to be remotely funny.

  20. bargis says:

    I can almost believe this. Wait…Well, not really.

  21. Sheogorath says:

    “Too close to the truth and your woeful website doesn’t make it clear that this is ‘satire’.”
    Actually, it does. It’s clearly stated in a few places on this site that it’s satirical and you should take with a pinch of salt anything here that doesn’t say it’s true.

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