Otradnensky, Siberia – (SatireWorld.com) The 6-foot wide metal cylinder partially made of titanium steel was found near Otradnensky, a village two thousand miles from Moscow. Locals have labeled it as space junk, a UFO fragment, or the fuel tank of an American ballistic missile.
The story changes from bar to bar as spirit fortified Siberians exaggerate the story. The Russian space agency has said the object is not from space, a piece of space technology, nor a missile fragment. It has been evaluated for radiation and none was found.
PHOTO INSERT: Several villagers thought it should’ve been kept and used as a weather cover for one of the many children’s bus stops in the area
SatireWorld reports the object was discovered after locals heard a loud crash and several loud shouts in the forest during a late night in October 2012. Why it is just being reported to the authorities now is unclear but it is currently under police supervision.
One resident, Boris Spinski, age 44, claimed the object hit him in the head while he was cutting wood and wants the government to issue him a disability claim. His story was later discounted as ‘a falsehood perpetrated under inebriation’ after it was found that the object fell at night and as his brother explained, ‘even someone as stupid as Boris wouldn’t be in the woods after dark, especially when the local bars are serving a free dinner buffet with real cabbage.’
Head of The Department for Civil Defense and Emergency Situations of the Kuibyshevski, Valery Vasiliev, said part of the fragment was made of ultra strong titanium. Other parts were made from a strange material that glowed a pinkish colour and had a quite pleasant smell.
Finder Sergey Bobrov said in his official statement that he would keep the UFO safe in his barn, but locals reported it to the state militia and police in black helicopters came during the night and secretly removed it without his permission.
A local police spokesman confirmed the object was now under guard by the state militia force on orders from unspecified authorities.
“You can see inside it, all is open, it’s empty, no danger here. We were asked to take and store it. We brought it here. And now we are going to wait until they come to take it if they need it,” said Lt. Sergei Sulein.
87 year old Ludmila Petrokofski smiled a toothless grin and mentioned for the first time that for weeks before the discovery she used the metallic UFO part to cook boiled potatoes, horsemeat and winter cabbage.
Says Petrokofski, “The soldiers are going to believe those Martian guys smelled really funky once they put that junk into a locked up building.”
No no, nothing like that. FO (Flying Object) may be U (Unidentified) to you… is what I meant.
Now, I'm realling sorta confused. Hmmmmmmm, let me think on that one Brian.
OK I get it now…Hahaha, almost fooled me!
I get it now…F-U too, right?
That FO may be U to you, but it's not "unidentified" in the generally accepted sense, in that thousands of people (who are not you) know what it is.
No, worse, it's not an "f" in that we have no reason to believe it was ever flying.
No, what you have here is a "u"… It's just unidentified.