Posted in War Zone World News

Gaddafi Ceasefire Gesture: “My Guerillas Have Put Down Their Arms”

Tripoli Zoo, Tuesday: In a secret satellite conference last Tuesday, Libyan dictator Muhammar Gaddafi reportedly told NATO he had disarmed all of his Guerrillas and he “no longer wanted bloodlessness.” “No word of a lie. What I say is true….

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

A Dire Warning To Prince William Before His Ill-Fated Marriage

The following is a letter recently received by his Royal Highness Prince Williams of England concerning his upcoming wedding to the commoner Kate Middleton: Dearest, most exalted, Royal Highness Prince Williams, It is out of the utmost duty that I…

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Posted in World News

Engraved Tax Bills Sent To British Taxpayers on Eve of Royal Wedding

Reports are coming out of England that part of the cost of throwing one of the most lavish weddings of the decade will be borne by British taxpayers. Unfortunately, with the economy pretty much still on a downward slide, this…

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Posted in Society

Census Results Say ‘Those People’ Now a Majority

The 2010 Census results continue to be compiled by the world’s leading demographers and statisticians. Aiding in the research is the latest advance in super computer technology, developed in a joint effort between NASA and IBM. Considered a quantum leap…

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Posted in Politics Strange People

Donald Trump Puts Glass House on Market

Yet another indication that Donald Trump is absolutely serious about running for President is the fact that he has just listed his all-glass NY mansion for sale this weekend. The home, a stunning 8 bedroom, 9-1/2 bathroom home is one…

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Posted in Biz News

Hooray For Me, F**k You: Filthy Rich Protest for More Wealth

NEW YORK – Jumping on the protest bandwagon, which began with a carefully orchestrated campaign of coddled working and middle class protesters in Wisconsin and elsewhere fighting to retain their grossly overpaid wages and awesome HMO benefits, the wealthy minority…

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Posted in Politics

President Obama Offers up Authentic Treasure Map to Throw Off Birther Scent

The quest for definitive evidence that Barack Obama was born (or not born) in the United States is heating up once again. This time, it is millionaire Donald Trump (or billionaire if you’re asking Trump himself) who is leading the…

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Posted in Politics

Government Unexpectedly Shut Down by Whiplash Epidemic

People who earn horse choking sums by predicting events that never come to pass find themselves choking in light of the current government shutdown. Consensus among pundits had predicted an imminent budget showdown due to efforts of Democrats eager to…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip

T-Pain Allegedly Punches Lady Gaga at NYC Nightclub

According to police, an altercation broke out this morning at 3:42 at an un-licensed after hours club on the lower east side. This wouldn’t normally make news, but the alleged aggressor was none other than auto-tune sensation T-Pain, and his…

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Posted in Health Human Interest

Biggie Burger Introduces the “Suicide Burger”

Parkersburg WV – GlossyNews.com – Biggie Burger Inc. of Parkersburg WV, famous for its patented 1200-calorie Gargantuan Burger, today introduced its even more massive artery-destroying Suicide Burger. Reportedly the new menu item will be so huge customers will be provided…

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Posted in Making Headlines

Mr. Trump- Being Overbearingly Arrogant Alone Is Not Enough Of The Character Fiber Needed To Be President

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Posted in News In Your Briefs

American Spoof Writers Raked Over Coals by Queen Elizabeth

Those closest to Queen Elizabeth are saying that she is becoming quite upset with the way American satirists are cashing in on the upcoming nuptials between her grandson and Kate Middleton. Although she has long gotten over the rude treatment…

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Posted in Politics Strange People

Dick Cheney Voted ‘Worst President Of All Time”

Polling across the world has indicated that many people, especially in America, consider Dick Cheney to be “the worst President in history.’ Cheney, using someone named ‘Bush’ as a front man, controlled and manipulated U.S. political procedure to the point…

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Posted in Biz News World News

Nuke Energy Leaders Bravely Sacrifice Everything to Save Radioactive Fuel Rods

WASHINGTON DC – An emergency meeting was convened today between President Obama, top Japanese officials, members of the IAEA, General Electric CEO Jeffrey Immelt, and several nuclear industry leaders, to discuss ways to save the precious fuel rods from the…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Strange People

Mayans, Nostradamus Agree on Donald Trump Armageddon Scenario

Machu Picchu, dusk – GlossyNews.com: After ten seconds of reciprocal nodding over candlelight, Nostradamus and Mayan elders have announced they are in complete agreement with their Donald Trump apocalyptic destruction prophecies. “I clearly mentioned that guy in the 3rd verse…

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Posted in Religionism

Evangelicals Target Home Depot’s Despotism

To casual observers Kathy Klavan might seem just another middle class homemaker raising her children in this Atlanta suburb, but her heart burns with a defining passion. She wants Home Depot punished for its efforts to destroy America. “Yeah, Calvin…

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Posted in Science Strange People

Aliens Abduct Rhode Island, Connecticut Unaware

Woonsocket, RI – GlossyNews.com – In one of the most bizarre UFO events yet recorded, aliens reportedly abducted the entire State of Rhode Island. It happened at 3:15 AM May 10. The entire episode was documented by Barney J. Brothers…

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Posted in Politics

Yet Another Black Mark Against Obama – He’s a Lefty

Yet another criticism of our “fearless leader” has been brought to light by those forces who are ever vigilant on keeping an eye on those treacherous liberal elements that have infested and are now running our great country. It has…

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Posted in Religionism

Taliban Starts Rightist Evangelical Branch in U.S.

The Taliban, recognizing the similarities between their doctrines and that of the Christian Right, have started an Evangelical Taliban branch in the U.S. Spokesman Tali Wozati stated “Although Christian fundamentalists are heathen dogs who will burn in Hell fire for…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Entertainment

Dennis Miller Offering Glenn Beck Sidekick Job

Dennis Miller always had aspirations of being the next Bill O’Reilly or “Billy” as he calls him, or the next Glenn Beck. But, even though he does have his own radio talk show, so far, it’s only gotten him a…

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