Gaddafi Ceasefire Gesture: “My Guerillas Have Put Down Their Arms”

Tripoli Zoo, Tuesday: In a secret satellite conference last Tuesday, Libyan dictator Muhammar Gaddafi reportedly told NATO he had disarmed all of his Guerrillas and he “no longer wanted bloodlessness.”

“No word of a lie. What I say is true. I have taken away my gorillas arms and I want similarly unarmed peacekeepers to enter the Libyan capital of Tripoli as soon as humanly possible,” said Gaddafi, whose stronghold has until now remained impenetrable. Read more Gaddafi Ceasefire Gesture: “My Guerillas Have Put Down Their Arms”

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A Dire Warning To Prince William Before His Ill-Fated Marriage

The following is a letter recently received by his Royal Highness Prince Williams of England concerning his upcoming wedding to the commoner Kate Middleton:

Dearest, most exalted, Royal Highness Prince Williams,

It is out of the utmost duty that I write this missive to you before your day of marital conjoining with the commoner Kate Middleton. Read more A Dire Warning To Prince William Before His Ill-Fated Marriage

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Engraved Tax Bills Sent To British Taxpayers on Eve of Royal Wedding

Reports are coming out of England that part of the cost of throwing one of the most lavish weddings of the decade will be borne by British taxpayers. Unfortunately, with the economy pretty much still on a downward slide, this news could not have come at a worse time for the royal subjects.

To soften the blow, the Queen has come up with a plan that she hopes will take the sting out of bearing some of the burden for a wedding that is rumored to be overpriced and which most of them may only get to attend by watching it on the telly. Read more Engraved Tax Bills Sent To British Taxpayers on Eve of Royal Wedding

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Census Results Say ‘Those People’ Now a Majority

The 2010 Census results continue to be compiled by the world’s leading demographers and statisticians. Aiding in the research is the latest advance in super computer technology, developed in a joint effort between NASA and IBM.

Considered a quantum leap in computing speed, the Kinetic Intelligence Logarithm Re-Ordering Yin-Yang super computer is said to have a processing speed of 14 giga-tera bytes per nanosecond. Read more Census Results Say ‘Those People’ Now a Majority

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Donald Trump Puts Glass House on Market

Yet another indication that Donald Trump is absolutely serious about running for President is the fact that he has just listed his all-glass NY mansion for sale this weekend.

The home, a stunning 8 bedroom, 9-1/2 bathroom home is one of the most unusual homes in the older, reserved neighborhood of Old Wesbury, NY.

Boasting “more windows than a cathedral,” Trump is allegedly selling the property due to recent events that he says could very well bring harm to his property, a prediction made a long, long time ago by his grandmother. Read more Donald Trump Puts Glass House on Market

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Hooray For Me, F**k You: Filthy Rich Protest for More Wealth

NEW YORK – Jumping on the protest bandwagon, which began with a carefully orchestrated campaign of coddled working and middle class protesters in Wisconsin and elsewhere fighting to retain their grossly overpaid wages and awesome HMO benefits, the wealthy minority of America’s oppressed upper class are staging a counter protest to keep their inheritances and legally stolen wealth, plus interest. Read more Hooray For Me, F**k You: Filthy Rich Protest for More Wealth

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President Obama Offers up Authentic Treasure Map to Throw Off Birther Scent

The quest for definitive evidence that Barack Obama was born (or not born) in the United States is heating up once again. This time, it is millionaire Donald Trump (or billionaire if you’re asking Trump himself) who is leading the scavenger hunt. Tired of all of the hubbub about where he was born, the President is finally taking matters into his own hands by offering up an authentic treasure map to throw Trump off the birther scent. Read more President Obama Offers up Authentic Treasure Map to Throw Off Birther Scent

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