Engraved Tax Bills Sent To British Taxpayers on Eve of Royal Wedding

Reports are coming out of England that part of the cost of throwing one of the most lavish weddings of the decade will be borne by British taxpayers. Unfortunately, with the economy pretty much still on a downward slide, this news could not have come at a worse time for the royal subjects.

To soften the blow, the Queen has come up with a plan that she hopes will take the sting out of bearing some of the burden for a wedding that is rumored to be overpriced and which most of them may only get to attend by watching it on the telly.

“I know how important souvenirs are to the Brits,” said the Queen through her royal spokesperson, “and I know how difficult it will be for some of them to afford a commemorative beer mug or shot glass,” she continued. “Therefore, in order to give a little something back to those who are being asked to help fund this most extravagant affair, we are sending engraved tax bills to each and every commoner which they may keep as a souvenir of the event.

The invoice for a “nuptials tax” will include an RSVP to pay ASAP stub, which will be payable immediately upon receipt. While the RSVP will be printed on ordinary paper stock, the tax bill itself will be engraved in gold lettering and can be retained as a free souvenir of the wedding.

Taxpayers who have already received the engraved invoices in the mail had plenty to say about the matter. Unfortunately, none of it is printable.


9 comments on “Engraved Tax Bills Sent To British Taxpayers on Eve of Royal Wedding

  1. P. Beckert, your are such a poor bluff. Check your sources or check your own integrity. I work as a financial advisory consultant in the UK since 2002 and have just, as usual, received my tax bill. There are none of the stuff you talk about. My wife and I are proud to be here in the UK and happy to have witnessed this once-in-a-life time event.

    • Well, Marco, just a hunch, but receiving your tax bill around the same time as my attempt at humour hit, I’d lay odds you just weren’t in the mood for a laugh.

  2. Hey Marco. Financial advisor since 2002. You didn’t see the financial crisis coming either, huh? Go do some Maths and figure out how much a royal wedding being declared a national holiday costs a country in lost productivity. Then figure out the security bill (i.e. police on holiday pay) and subtract that from the television rights and a couple of extra tourists. Then tell all of it to a student who just had their tuition fees doubled so they can graduate and pay taxes to prop up a pension system that won’t exist when they retire. If they’re lucky enough to find a job. You dolt.

  3. Uhm… leave ‘Britsney’ alone?

    I visited England once on biz, very interesting place. Lots of abandoned Churches, good mass transit system.

    A bit of pomp & pageantry is nice now and then I suppose. But I’d expect even an ardent Royalist to admit, that’s a darned funny reality show going on at Buckingham Palace. It’s like the ‘Osbournes’ with tiaras!

  4. Yeah Beckert! Go check your sources and yer integrity on that one!
    And while yer at it check and see why I didn’t get my engraved bill.
    This is after I sent Kate that nice underwear that had “Insert here” and an arrow printed on it.

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