NOTE FROM WALLACE:
Here’ s a great cartoon from rfreed!
What would a Kremlin troublemaker do? Read more Somewhere In The Kremlin
Somewhere In The Kremlin
Not fake news… FUNNY news!
Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.
Lady Gaga now regrets the song she did together with the popular pervert, proliferator of pubescent pornography and deflowerer of underage girls and perhaps small furry animals R. Kelly. The Ga now says of her 2013 conjugal ditty that ‘Do What You Want With My Body’ now disturbs her terribly. “Not only did we sing it, we did it.” confessed the singer fresh from her Golden Globe victory with the song “Shallow.” Read more Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.
Trump Administration Nutrition Lobbyists: “McDonalds Junk Food” is FAKE NEWS!
The Trump administration’s current representatives for infant health, general nutrition and healthy lifestyles have recently come out fighting against an insidious CNN / mainstream media CONSPIRACY against selfless, altruistic, patriotic restaurant companies.
The three officials in question, representing KFC, McDonalds and Massachusetts Meth Burger, have pointed out that the plague of fake news doesn’t only extend to unjust and ungrounded character attacks against the best President ever, but also represents a ton of malicious bad faith attacks against the various kinds of nutritious food we have all come to know and love so well.
Choice cuts include the following:
FAKE NEWS CONSPIRACY
Have you noticed nobody was even TALKING about the supposed ‘bad health effects’ of McDonalds until the mainstream liberal media started moralizing about it? Well, isn’t that convenient… It’s almost as though these imaginary ‘health risks’ were all just standard issue made-up FAKE NEWS nonsense that the MSM have deliberately concocted in order to make Donald Trump and his close associates look bad! I mean, it would be the first time, would it!
Trump deftly adds:
People are saying stuff!
MASSAGING THE STATS
Read more Trump Administration Nutrition Lobbyists: “McDonalds Junk Food” is FAKE NEWS!
Anti-Corporate Propaganda is Real! Here’s the REAL Truth About Hot-Dogs & Chicken Nuggets the Vegan MSM is Hiding!
NOTE FROM WALLACE:
Haters gonna hate, but they also gonna LIE, flat out, about the wondrous world of junk food!
Have you not had enough of all the horrible anti-corporate propaganda against noble, self-sacrificing enterprises like Starbucks and McDonalds?
Well, here’s your chance to see the REAL truth about the gorgeous junk food the haters are lying about.
Hot dogs are fattening?
FAKE NEWS!
Chicken nuggets are cobbled together from the worst conceivable innards of the chicken?
FAKE NEWS!
The mainstream media would never lie to us about so-called ‘junk food,’ right?!
FAKE NEWS!
Remember to watch these videos, and then share ’em! Don’t let the MSM get away with lying about our junk food!
Cheez-Its, the Nutritious New Superfood Everyone’s Raving About! (Glossy News Video)
NOTE FROM WALLACE:
They’re nutritious and delicious! Never mind what raw food humping organic freegan zealots tell you… Cheez-Its are the real deal! If tomato ketchup is a vegetable, then why can’t Cheez-Its be the edgy new superfood du jour as well???
Watch this exciting Bobby Joe mockumentary, and find out how Cheez-Its done be MADE! T’simple!
Disney Acquires Scientology, Pushes for Billion Year Copyright
In a move surprising several, Disney-ABC Television Group lodged a hostile takeover of Scientology on Monday, acquiring the majority of outstanding shares for $3.6 billion, excluding real estate assets, a 14% premium over Friday closing value.
The move affords Disney, a de-facto religion in practice, official recognition as a non-profit organization, which is expected to save them the remaining $19 in federal taxes they’ve never actually paid on average since a thousand billions before they made their first trillion.
Read more Disney Acquires Scientology, Pushes for Billion Year Copyright
10 Steps To Help You Launch A Boat Successfully
Sometimes you might get blocked by another boat on the ramp while trying to launch yours. This can be really annoying. All boaters should learn the common boat etiquette. Most of these rules and etiquette are not laid down anywhere. Every boater should know them as a matter of basic human reasoning. Knowing these rules makes the boating process easy and fun for everyone. Visit the aceboater.com for more boating tips. The following are the basic and unspoken boating rules and etiquettes you should adhere to: Read more 10 Steps To Help You Launch A Boat Successfully
The Golden Age of Antisemitism: Should Revisionist Historians Be Allowed to Deny Medieval Antisemitism?
Not long ago, my alma mater hosted the ‘highly reputable ‘Leeds International Medieval Congress.’ Now, given the utterly parlous state of the humanities in Europe, you might well wonder if this is every bit as bad as it sounds.
The answer, of course, is undeniably ‘yes.’
I was around the city, and indeed the University, and I managed to pick up a couple of conference posters that greatly tickled me…
But not in an entirely good way!
Negative Thoughts & Feelings: Win The Game, Reframe!
Last time, I spoke a little about how choosing alternative categories and concepts will help you understand yourself and your place in this world better; by avoiding one-sided, prejudiced and unhealthy views.
Don’t sell yourself short!
Don’t demand ‘the right to an opinion’ about how unworthy you are.
Opinions mean less than nothing; for only the truth should EVER be enough for you.
Read more Negative Thoughts & Feelings: Win The Game, Reframe!
The Fear of Romantic Failure: & How to Rise Above It!
Many of us men, and many women also, struggle with the feeling we have nothing to offer others, and that we are not competitive at all in the marketplace of love and marriage.
I believe reframing things is helpful, so we can avoid biased and subjective views.
Subjective Views and Intersubjective Views
Let’s begin with the distinction between a subjective, immanent, closed-in view, and an outgoing, transcendent, intersubjective view.
For example, instead of being self-absorbed and asking ‘Do I have anything to offer a woman?’ or ‘Am I able to compete with other men?’ you can shift the focus outwards. What do SOME women want? Read more The Fear of Romantic Failure: & How to Rise Above It!
Do Gardens Follow the Dao As Well?
I am more patient these days.
Most of the time, I am patient with myself and with others.
I am in a lot less physical distress, despite big stomach pains still.
I am able to take things more day by day.
The key to life is to let the flowers bloom, without impatiently turning up the garden, to see if they’re growing yet.
Everything, and everyone, will grow and flourish in their appointed time; nothing beautiful and powerful and free ever arose and sprouted joyously from the engineer’s impatience; only from the humility and delicacy of the gardener. Read more Do Gardens Follow the Dao As Well?
Sharpen Your Pens! Glossy News Wants Your Poems… & Here are a Few Examples to Whet your Appetites!
Glossy News has plenty of room for poetry: serious poetry, yes, but especially satire! Or sometimes even serious (i.e. sober satire).
Email the managing editor on wallacerunnymede@gmail.com if you want to contribute.
Here are a few ideas to set you off:
The Knives of Athenry
The Satirist has some very high quality satire indeed, so even to have been published there twice feels good.
The poem doesn’t feel good though. It’s a rewriting of a famous Irish folk song.
My wish is that it may be seen to capture some of the pain and anguish and bittersweet hopefulness of the original
By a lonely Irish ward, I heard an infant wailing
“Mammy, they said they’re taking me away,
For the people repealed the 8th
To be cut in pieces is my fate
Mammy, save me, or I’ll never see the light of day!”
Utterly horrific, and not exactly the ‘funny’ kind of satire, to say the least.
But then again, satire doesn’t have to be funny.
Sometimes all you can to is groan in pain.
The Knives of Athenry: A Not So Humorous Satire on an Irish Folk Ballad
In Syria Did Cameron
Oh look, it’s everybody’s favourite accidentally-alleged pig-fancier! No porkies, Dave!
Random Thoughts (XV): Scabshamers, Silicon Valley & Silly Brussels Bureaucrats!
Silicon Masks, Black Souls
At times of peace, Silicon Valley platforms look, at least partly, like open forums. But don’t look at them during times of normality. Look at them at times of exception. Then the mask slips completely! When consensus breaks down and society becomes increasingly polarised, they will ALWAYS take sides. At bottom, they always have been centrists, and they always will be.
Effeminate Generational Mutilation
Another US state criminalises female genital mutiliation.
Compare the UK. There are many things that cannot be done in the UK, because of the common buzzword ‘community relations.’ According to the authorities and the elites, reporting and prosecuting FGM is bad for ‘community relations.’ Prosecuting rape gangs is bad for ‘community relations.’ Even giving Asia Bibi asylum is bad for ‘community relations.’ How much more of these ‘community relations’ excuses are we prepared to put up with?
Neurodiversity Run Amok
The fact that some autistic individuals are vulnerable to radicalisation (Islam, Alt-Right, Incels) is another nail in the coffin of ‘neurodiversity’ and its politically correct, highly indiscriminate ‘celebration’ of all forms of neurodivergence. Read more Random Thoughts (XV): Scabshamers, Silicon Valley & Silly Brussels Bureaucrats!
Team-Building Activities for the Upcoming Corporate Party
It’s the end of the year 2018, and we are all happy to be hosting and attending Christmas parties. Being an attendee is easy, you only have to show up, have some fun and leave the place. Ask the party planners how they feel. They pour their souls into the event and hope for the best results.
Corporate parties have different gathering purposes. These events answer for the motivation of the workers, planning future strategic steps, and creating a better bond within team members. In this article, we will discuss several activities that go well with team-building purposes for this Christmas party. Read more Team-Building Activities for the Upcoming Corporate Party
Are all Americans Guilty of Hate Crimes against President Trump?
Dateline: D.C.— Under federal hate crime laws, Special Counsel Robert Mueller has targeted both critics and supporters of President Trump, for “abusing a mentally incompetent old man,” according to a spokesperson for Mr. Mueller’s office.
“If you saw a physically disabled person and instead of helping her out, you berated her ruthlessly or else lured into making a fool of herself, you could easily foul afoul of hate speech laws,” said the spokesperson.
These laws are designed to prevent crimes committed on the basis of a person’s protected characteristics such as her race, religion or gender—but also her disability. Read more Are all Americans Guilty of Hate Crimes against President Trump?
