Tag Archive | "satire"

Beware of the Partisanship Disease

Partisanship is not a figurative expression, but quite real. It is, in fact, an actual chronic disease. If you know someone who has come down with the conservative or liberal version of this infection, take heart: there is a cure!

People who have trouble telling the difference between female law students and prostitutes don’t have to suffer any longer. Nor do people who have the compulsion to pitch tents in front of banks thinking they’re “occupying” them. Read the full story


Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (3)

Poll Results Indicate Dick Cheney More Evil than Vlad the Impaler

A recent poll asked participants to name who they thought was the most evil person in history. The results, while not entirely surprising, did say a lot about just how unlikeable Dick Cheney has become over the years.

What was surprising to some was the fact that Cheney didn’t top the list at number one, but that could be due to the fact that some of the participants were actually Republicans. Read the full story


Posted in Human InterestComments (2)

Satire May Be a Dying Art, Thanks to Internet Trolls

Serious concerns have been raised in the United Kingdom, over the future of online satire as an art form, a development which has also caused consternation in the United States.

In the UK, a number of high profile court cases have resulted in successful prosecutions of internet trolls, much to the disgust of genuine satirists, who feel that they in turn are suffering as a result of trolling.

The trolls target the famous, the recently bereaved, and basically anybody they feel like being nasty towards. Read the full story


Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (7)

Lloyd Blankfein Will NOT Be Romney’s Secretary of the Treasury

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has disclosed to an anonymous source that he probably will not appoint Lloyd Blankfein to the office of Secretary of the Treasury.

Blankfein is CEO of Goldman Sachs, one of the nation’s most distinguished financial enterprises.

But whether the rumor that Mr. Blankfein, having heard of the possible appointment, had unwittingly disclosed the idea of running a credit default swap scheme on the nation’s economy has nothing to do with Romney’s thinking at this time. The Romney source was vigorous on this point. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

Florida Gov. Rick Scott Steps Down Citing Medical Reasons

TALLAHASSEE — Florida Gov. Rick Scott stepped down today as leader of the Sunshine State after confidential reports surfaced, which we will not share. These private, personal, legally protected documents, which are confidential, prove the governor withheld a 2008 diagnosis of adult Asperger Disorder from voters.

Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll was immediately sworn into office as Florida’s 46th governor. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (11)

Local Satirist Found Dead; Fowl Play Suspected

DUNCAN, OK (Glossynews)– A local satire writer has been found dead in front of his home from multiple gunshot wounds. The assault apparently took place late last night. Police aren’t releasing any information, but several alleged eyewitnesses who prefer to remain anonymous claim the man was gunned down by a masked gang of turkeys.

Likely wild. Initial reports of it being a gaggle of geese have since been disproved. While many are still skeptical about the details, evidence and shell casings gathered at the scene point towards some possibility of fowl play. Read the full story


Posted in Crime, Strange PeopleComments (5)

Halloween Safety Tips to Avoid Raisin Poisonation

Halloween will soon be upon us. Here are some simple tips that should help keep the holiday safe and fun for everyone.

1. When planning your children’s trick-or-treating route, stick to residential neighborhoods. Try to avoid deserted industrial areas, construction sites, and toxic waste dumps.

2. Novelty contact lenses can add a new dimension to a Halloween costume. Please get yours from a licensed eye care professional; resist the temptation to create your own using an empty plastic water bottle, a razor blade, and a set of colored markers. Read the full story


Posted in Kidz ZoneComments (3)

‘The Onion’ Publishes an Issue of True Stories

Foxpeter Grove, MD (GlossyNews) — The Onion, America’s premier satire and humor newspaper, shocked the literary world today by publishing an issue of ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORIES!

The US’s flagship smart-ass site today reported on several newsworthy incidents that actually happened. On page two, the Great O reported on a woman who, about to take a snort of cocaine found that the powder formed a perfect picture of the Virgin Mary. The woman, however, was a devout Buddhist (except for snorting cocaine) and snorted it up anyway. Read the full story


Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (3)

Banks Foreclose on Hell — Satan Moves to Scientology Headquarters

Sarasota, Fla (GlossyNews) — Markets around the world were rocked today with news of the imminent foreclosure on Hell by a consortium of major international banks. The announcement came only after months of failed negotiations between Satan and the Associated Minions of the Nether Regions to reach an agreement with creditors on the restructuring of Hell’s dept.

“Isn’t that a kick in the teeth,” said Beelzebub, official spokes-demon for the Associated Minions of the Nether Regions. Read the full story


Posted in SocietyComments (1)

Census Bureau Sued for Unfair Labor Practices.

Washington, DC (GlossyNews) — Hundreds of current and former 2010 Census workers filed a class action law suit today in Federal District Court charging the United States Census Bureau with a pattern of unfair labor practices against its employees.

Specific details of the lawsuit were yet to be released at press time, however, lawyers for the plaintiffs announced to the press via conference call, “The Census Bureau has and is enforcing a series of unrealistic and impossible standards on its employees under the guise of standard business practices that make it difficult for its employees to excel. These standards, while enforced relatively uniformly, are arbitrary and capricious Read the full story


Posted in World NewsComments (1)

Book Excerpt – Chicken Butt; The Story of a Man (4 of 4)

This is an excerpt from N. A. Kay’s newly published illustrated novel Chicken Butt; The Story of a Man, illustrated by Daniel Meisels.


Standing up to Intelligence

Chicken Butt thought he was smart, intelligent, insightful, and many other positive adjectives, but – as we all know – he was a contemptible chicken of a man. C. B.’s ego was always thinking up new ways to reinforce Chicken Butt’s bloated perception of himself. Actually, C. B.’s ego was really quite brilliant at it – as we have already seen. Anyways, C. B.’s ego, which for the purposes of this story we will refer to as The Great One from here on out, was lounging around dreaming up new ways to trick a loathsome chicken into believing that he was made for and of greatness. Read the full story


Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (0)

California Professors Compare 4% Pay Cut to Holocaust

Berkley, CA (BNSE) — California college professors and students took to the streets again today to protest Governor Schwarzenegger’s stark austerity plans to bring the deficit burdened California state budget back in line. Chief among their complaints are designated cut backs in the state’s higher education budget, including reductions in the number of courses offered, tuition increases, and a 4% pay cut for teaching professors. Outraged professors compared the pay cut to World War II Nazi Holocaust of 6 million Jews, the Rape of Nan-king, and the burning of the Library at Alexandria, among other historical tragedies. Read the full story


Posted in EducationComments (1)

Book Excerpt – Chicken Butt; The Story of a Man (3 of 4)

This is an excerpt from N. A. Kay’s newly published illustrated novel Chicken Butt; The Story of a Man, illustrated by Daniel Meisels.


The Flies and the Bugs

As I’ve mentioned many a time before, Chicken Butt, though he was a chicken, wasn’t an ordinary chicken. When he was entering adolescence he heard many ideas of what it meant to be a man, and, as most of us know, most of them revolve around sex. But Chicken Butt didn’t really get the idea of sex because he’s a chicken and everyone else was human – none of the females from his species were around. As such, he was much more interested in other male phenomenon. And from his pea-brained cognitive abilities, he came up with a theory, a theory to explain a male conundrum to men, women and humankind alike. He took it so seriously that he even wrote it down. Here it is for your viewing pleasure: Read the full story


Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (1)

Book Excerpt – Chicken Butt; The Story of a Man (2 of 4)

This is an excerpt from N. A. Kay’s newly published illustrated novel Chicken Butt; The Story of a Man, illustrated by Daniel Meisels.


The Fierce and the Faint of Heart

Chicken Butt – being a chicken and all – was scared of many things; commitment, asserting himself, spiders, rodents, insects with more than two legs, household pets, domestic animals, public transportation, public restrooms, flea markets, grocery stores, supermarkets, almost all types of salads, computer games, video games, arcades,  televisions, advertisements, colour printers, police officers, mothers, fathers, adults, children, babies, women, swivel chairs, load noises, republicans, democrats, independent parties, soldiers, spies, C.I.A. agents, F.B.I. agents, liquid and bar soap, hand sanitizer, watches, cherries, cherry pits, microwaves, sidewalks – in general, everything outside of his chicken-brain. Read the full story


Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (0)

Book Excerpt – Chicken Butt; The Story of a Man (1 of 4)

This is an excerpt from N. A. Kay’s newly published illustrated novel Chicken Butt; The Story of a Man, illustrated by Daniel Meisels.


Through the Chicken Brain

He was not a man, rather a chicken – the biggest chicken the world has ever spawned. Chicken Butt weighed one hundred and forty pounds and stood at six feet, making him the largest chicken that ever lived. He stood on gargantuan chicken legs which devolved into his chicken buttocks – the largest chicken-butt in recorded history – hence the name his parents gave him. The rest of his body seemed like that of a normal human, and, because of the fact, Chicken Butt was able to roam the streets as a regular man. Read the full story


Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (0)

Satirist Finds Fame by Hiding Numerical Code in Works

A satirist has amassed a large following after John Halpern from Okracoke Island, NC won over $1.3 million in the state lottery by cracking the numerical code hidden in an article written by Dominic Benjamin entitled “Octomoms Claim Numbers Don’t Lie.” Within the article were words that did not quite fit within the context of the story, and when Halpern, noticing this, assigned random numbers to the words, he came up with six numbers that he decided to play in the lottery. Read the full story


Posted in News In Your BriefsComments (0)

Page 3 of 41234
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

Glossy News Podcast

(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial