Trumpisms 4.0: Have We Had Enough Yet?!

President Trump

93

When Melania gave Donnie a book for Christmas,

He put it in the oven.

He explained,

“I cook all my books.”

 

94

Trump never ceases to amaze.

10? 15?

I thought he was a four flusher.

 

95

Trump would like to be king

so he can have a royal flush.

 

96

When Trump Enterprises goes public

it will be known as

the Laughing Stock.

 

97

For Halloween

Trump’s youngest son

dressed up as Putin.

He wanted to be

the Red Baron.

 

99

News release —

Trump resigned.

Congress wouldn’t play impeachment the way he wanted

so he took his ball and went home.

 

100

Whether report —

Trump’s rain

will end soon.

 

101

Now Trump wants to annex Poland —

That way he’ll have more polls than anyone else.

 

102

Trump complained that the

Playboy models were fully clothed —

more fake nudes.

 

103

Trump’s epitaph —

His life was a typo in the history of mankind.

There will never be another like him

thanks to spell check.

 

104

Have faith, like Brutus, Trump is an honorable man.

He will impale himself on his own tweet.

 

105

Trump acts like

he got the 10 Commandments

straight from God,

as his personal to-do list.

 

106

Christmas greeting —

Peach on Earth.

Good will prevail.

 

107

Trump scoffed at articles of impeachment.

He was worthy of books, even libraries;

and not just imps

but devils of peachment.

 

108

Trump is opening a chain of

self-serving restaurants,

specializing in riga-lection,

endorsed by Putin —

“Better fed and red

than dead.”

 

109

The Donny Award

for best performance in a lie

goes to The Three Amigos.

Written by Putin.

Directed by Trump.

And with a cast of aspersions.

 

110

Please somebody publish this joke book soon,

before Trump is out of office and in jail

And nobody has to think about him again.

 

111

News flash —

Trump, appearing in public without his toupee,

claims he is above the law as an endangered species,

and as the symbol of the United States —

the Bald Ego.

 

112

English conjugation:

drink, drank, drunk

bink, bank, bunk

shit, shat, trump

 

113

Latest discovery of Copernicus —

the Republican Party revolvers

around the gun.

 

ED: Thanks again, Richard! Don’t forget instalments One, Two and Three!

Author: Richard Seltzer

Now a publisher of electronic books, I worked for DEC, the minicomputer company, for 19 years, as writer, marketing consultant, and "Internet Evangelist." I graduated from Yale, with a major in English, and earned an MA from the U. of Mass. at Amherst in Comparative Literature (French, Russian, and German). At Yale, I had creative writing courses with Robert Penn Warren and Joseph Heller. Personal web site (with over 1000 documents) http://www.seltzerbooks.com My published works include: The Name of Hero, historical novel (Houghton Mifflin) Ethiopia Through Russian Eyes, translation from the Russian (Red Sea Press) "...the most important book on the history of eastern Africa to have been published for a century...." Old Africa The Lizard of Oz satiric fantasy, "An intriguing and very entertaining little novel" Library Journal The AltaVista Search Revolution, the first consumer book about search engines (McGraw-Hill) "indispensable" Library Journal, Winner of the Distinguished Technical Communication Award, the highest award given by the Society for Technical Communication Publications. Web Business Bootcamp (Wiley) Complete list at http://seltzerbooks.com/books/seltzer.html Follow me on Twitter! @SeltzerBooks