MISSOULA, MT—A new website has made it even easier for Facebook members to update their status through a rating system that allows members to test their updates before posting them.

Members who are too brain dead from lurking on the pages of ex-girlfriends or watching Youtube videos of raccoons giving hugs can also go to Statusbook to get ideas for status updates, or simply copy and paste updates that have already been rated. Read the full story

There’s been a lot of debate recently over the role social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter played in the recent Egyptian uprising, however very little has been mentioned of their importance in history’s other great revolutions.

This report chronicles the significant contributions social media sites have played in helping to foment past rebellions throughout the world. But before we begin, it’s important to note that this list highlights only a few of the more famous examples, and is by no means comprehensive of the Web 2.0’s vast historical influence. Read the full story

The 2010 surprise Sundance hit was a film called Catfish, a tale of an internet relationship gone horrible sideways. Apparently the name “Sideways” was already taken, and since the producers didn’t want to just declare it an outright hoax, they named it after a bottom-feeder, since that ugly moniker was somehow also perfectly fitting.

So it’s a good film, and one worth watching… did I get that out of the way? Okay good. Now here’s the rest of the story… Read the full story

THE VATICAN, ROME —BobZaguy Socio-political similarities have surfaced between the two most famous world-class conservative church leaders who publicly don’t seem to pay much mind to each other.
However, two bone-shaking statements were made a few days apart by the two men and have most of the world’s religious pundits looking for a pin to stand on. Read the full story

SILICON VALLEY — Facebook, the third largest country on planet earth, eclipsed a sizeable number of groups and became TIME‘s Person of the Year–2010.

Well, ok, ok —the site didn’t technically win, but its owner, Zuckerberg did win. And that gives the world’s newly honored ‘F’ word its 800# gorilla world status. Or whatever the 600+ million person equivalent weight of this gorilla is. Read the full story

MOGADISHU, Somalia – High seas pirates tired of battling high seas and all those US and French Naval ships have decided to become landlubbers again and do what their fellow continental Nigerians are doing, scamming people from solid ground.

They’ve opened a new operation entitled Facebroker whereby they steal the identities of people on Facebook and sell them to people who don’t have identities on Facebook so that they can be identified on Facebook as someone other than themselves. Read the full story

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (GlossyNews) — Scientists in Stockholm are just now concluding a 5-year long research project designed to determine whether or not mainstream consciousness is finally overpowering mindless consciousness and endangering the world we live in to such a degree that we may find ourselves staring down the real Apocalypse of 2012.

Some of the findings are startling. From the “don’t worry your bottom dollar about it” scenario to “holy shit, we have a crisis on our hands” [our words not theirs], the report is poised to set the social networking world on its head. Read the full story

Harry Salimi, a 52 year old New York resident, was walking his dog in a busy thoroughfare on Wednesday morning, when a sudden dizzy spell and radiating pains from his right hand sent him sprawling to the ground in a dramatic and outrageous fashion after making two brief stops on the way down: one at the side of a public water fountain and another at a half-full garbage bin. For twenty minutes, Mr. Salimi lay motionless on the ground, leaving his Cocker Spaniel mix with nothing to do but look mournfully at passers by. Read the full story

INTERWEBS, Cyberspace (GlossyNews) — It has recently come to the attention of many Facebook users that there are things going on by Facebook management that (1) they didn’t authorize; and (2) they don’t really care about as long as they can post their most intimate secrets on their “walls.”

Some users though are realizing that they don’t really want the hassle of trying to figure out what it is that Facebook is doing behind their backs with their accounts, and millions are taking down their sites. Read the full story

BUFFALO, New York (GlossyNews) — In what Tri-State area Tea Party leaders are calling further evidence of our culture’s collapse, 38-year-old Lance Kilbane, an unemployed welder, has forgotten to honor his mother on her birthday.

Speaking to reporters while completing a Taco Bell employment application, Kilbane struggled to put an acceptable face on his unforgiveable negligence toward the woman who carried him inside her body for nine months. Read the full story

Chicago, IL (GlossyNews) –The mummified remains of a man waiting for comments to his clever face book post were found last Monday in a basement in Winnetka, Illinois. The desiccated body of Murray Stinsky, who had collected a total of 17 friends and family on Facebook, appeared to have been in his basement for over a year, still sitting upright in front of a dark computer screen.

The body was found after a neighbor became suspicious when Mr. Stinsky’s newspaper subscription ran out, and she didn‘t have anything to read with her coffee on Sunday morning.

Last week, a childless couple in East Texas kidnapped a baby so they could post baby pictures on Facebook. The couple, envious of their friends who are constantly posting pictures of their children on Facebook, grabbed a baby from the local market and immediately began posting pictures of the happy threesome. After 3 days and numerous postings that resulted in a long list of comments, including LMAO and LMFAO and ROFLMFAO, and at least one, “how cute,“ the couple returned the baby to the worried baby’s parents when they realized how expensive it was to keep it alive. Their latest post is their mug shots in the local weekly newspaper.

CRAWFORD, TX (GlossyNews) — Family members say former U.S. President George W. Bush, now bereft of around-the-clock advisors, is having trouble coping with retirement. According to insiders, without his daily briefings Bush is often stumped by life in the real world. They cited several examples, which included a recent call Bush made to former Secretary of State Condeleeza Rice to ask how to work the remote for his new plasma television. Read the full story

PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Patrick Joseph Kennedy II, who has represented Rhode Island’s 1st congressional district since 1995, has announced that he will not seek reelection. Mr. Kennedy, 42, has wrestled with alcoholism, bipolar disorder, and drug abuse, both recreational and prescription, since his student days at Rhode Island Community College. Read the full story

Charlie, a chimpanzee owned by animal psychologist Mary Lively, celebrated his 6th birthday by sending text messages on his very own laptop. The computer was specially designed for Charlie by Apeco Technologies at the urging of Lively after she had noticed that Charlie took an unusual interest in her computer while she did research. Read the full story