Congress Recognizes Its Own Bipartisan Sexuality (Bisexuality?)
Washington DC – The studies have been released and the news sure isn’t pretty. Both houses of Congress – the Senate and the Representatives– have been shown to come up short dealing with their own bisexuality.
Brownie Guides Now Terrorist Suspects
Two Smegmadale Police Community Support Officers are under investigation after they allegedly stopped and searched a six-year-old Pakistani Muslim girl using their unconstitutional anti-terrorism powers as an excuse for harassing behaviour that stinks of racism.
Bed Sharing ‘Bad for your Health’, Says Bummer Council
The results of a three year survey commissioned by the Ministry for Wasting Time & Money has concluded couples should consider sleeping apart for the good of their health (mental as well as physical) and overall emotional relationship.
GOP Leader Tells Cancer Victim to “Beg for Charity”
US House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (R-Va.) wins the award for Scumbag Politician of the Week – a widely contested prize around Congress these past few years – with both Democrats and Republics running neck and neck in the qualifying…
UK Attorney-General to Prosecute Self – Que?
British Slime Minister Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown and his merry band of sycophantic bottom feeders at No 10 Downing Street today pronounced to an unruly mob of scandal-frenzied hacks from the Daily Shitraker and the Rumourmonger’s Gazette that they maintained “full…
Dems Whip Dems to Filibuster Dem Legislation
By the time the Democratic proposal hit the floor, Harry Reid had already ensured enough Dems would vote to filibuster their own legislation.
Libyan Nut-Job Enthralls UN Assembly w/ Rambling Yarn
It was meant to be a day of global reconciliation, when the new Kenyan Messiah of the Free World (sic) would miraculously wipe clean the slate of the past eight years of Neo-Colonial Imperialist US hatred and herald an era…
Geithner’s Pie Chart Shows “Increase” (in quotation marks)
Washington, DC — In an amazing, some would say astounding, turn of events in the world, the Treasury pie chart has begun to show increases. Not quite enough to erase the decreases that have plagued our country – nay, the…
Google Dog Search Trick Pisses Off Council
A family of dodgy Balkan refugees who tried to lure back a lost dog by leaving a trail of their own urine around the streets near their home have been criticised by the town council as a bunch of irresponsible…
Greedshite Bank Bids to Buy All United Kingdom’s Roads
A radical avarice-inspired plan to rake in £100 billion by privatising the UK’s motorway and trunk road networks has been exposed – blowing wide open the criminal details of a series of covert sneaky attempts to corruptly influence ranking members…