Greedshite Bank Bids to Buy All United Kingdom’s Roads

A radical avarice-inspired plan to rake in £100 billion by privatising the UK’s motorway and trunk road networks has been exposed – blowing wide open the criminal details of a series of covert sneaky attempts to corruptly influence ranking members of the three main political parties by the NM Greedshite Bank.

The sordid story involving Greedshites, the reigning global investment bank that controls the IMF and has the world’s leaders – in toto – by the financial short and curlies – was pasted across the front pages of the nation’s gutter press tabloids after being thrown into the public arena by the House of Conmans newly-established Whistleblowing Department.

NM Greedshite Bank, the architect of several previous mega-profit dodgy privatisations, made its felonious pitch to an undisclosed number of crooked upper echelon party members as soon as Parliament adjourned for the summer recess.

Bank directors Shylock Weasleberg and Hymie Selfishstein atempted to seduce leading politicians with the hypothesis that the sale of the roads currently overseen by the government’s Highways Agency — all motorways and most big trunk routes — could help revive their respective party’s battered finances and provide a nice healthy war chest to buy the next general election – plus further ensure their personal retirement pension pots runneth over.

NM Greedshite banksters would then establish toll-road companies similar to those they operate around the pothole-ridden hapless nations of Africa – to charge the living hell out of British private and commercial vehicles – including the emergency services – for the use of each stretch of their privately-owned asphalt.

So who actually are these gluttonous bankster types whose venal practices covet our life’s-blood highways and byways to further swell their rapacious pockets?

Nathan Mayo Greedshite set up a British branch of the German-based Ashkenazi Jewish family bank in 1798 and began manipulating the UK economy to suit his own money-grubbing ravenous ends through corrupt crony practices – then achieved dominant control of the City’s cash and investment flow following his dodgy insider share tradings as the cannon and musket smoke of the Battle of Waterloo cleared in 1815.

The NM Greedshite Bankster Empire is thus built on a history of Satanic perfidy and usury – funding conflicts and wars across the globe – to the present day – with their personal Zionist paw prints all over the supposedly-forged Protocols, the rise of the Third Riech – and the fiction of the Holohoax – plus the illegitimate foundation of Israel.

Now they tend to the financing of the criminal incumbent PM Binman Nuttyahoo’s coalition regime – to expedite a diabolical commission of perpetual genocide against the rightful owners of the Holy Land – the now- marginalised and thus disaffected Palestinian peoples of the West Bank and Gaza – and too those inhabiting a legion of despicable refugee camps across the Middle East.

So that’s the NM Greedshite banksters family – now headed by the titled Baron Jakob Greedshite – who singularly deserves a special place in Dante’s Ninth Circle of Hell for his Zionist treacheries and crimes against mankind – and now his scumbag bank want to own our road system – with their sinister lobbying to achieve self-serving ends seemingly knowing no bounds – to the detriment of the many and benefit of the few.

Motorway privatisation was at one time considered by PM John Major’s basket case Conservative administration, which sold British Rail, but was rejected when they contemplated – rightly for once – a highways sale might prove as big a fuck up as the railway’s privatisation.

As one unemployed street corner academic postured to a fellow homeless lawyer – also suffering a recent series of personal reversals of fortune – “If Brown an’ Scandalson are gonna sell the motorways to the Greedshite Bank so they can charge us toll fees then wot der fuck are we payin’ road tax for in de first place, I ask yer eh?”

The NM Greedshite Bank was behind many of the key privatisations of the 1980’s and 1990’s, including the fire sales of British Steel, British Gas and British Coal – which of course was the core cause of British de-industrialisation with a knock-on richochete effect still being felt today with the current recession, pick and mix redundancies, unemployment and bankruptcies plaguing the entire population – and ushering the imminent extinction of the bourgeoisie middle class in entirety – converting them all back to pre-Victorian pauper status. Welcome – and join the club.

Okay folks, all together now – One! Two! Three! : “Thank you Baron Greedshite!”

Perhaps dear Jakob Greedshite and his grasping ilk might do well to read and reflect on the New Testament’s Gospel of Mark : C8 – v36 – “For what shall it profit a man if he gaineth the whole world yet forfeit his soul?”

However, being a career Shylock, it’s doubtful the infidel Greedshite observes the canons of the Christian Bible – and probably doesn’t possess a soul.

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via