Brownie Guides Now Terrorist Suspects

Two Smegmadale Police Community Support Officers are under investigation after they allegedly stopped and searched a six-year-old Pakistani Muslim girl using their unconstitutional anti-terrorism powers as an excuse for harassing behaviour that stinks of racism.

The plain-clothed officers are further accused of carrying out a stop and strip search on her 10-year-old sister who was accompanying the six-year-old to their Brownies meeting.

 A complaint was made by passers-by on mobile phones after the girls were stopped as they walked towards the local community centre.

The Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) said it was taking the incident ‘very seriously’ as it today announced a full probe. It was ‘particularly worrying’ that two young children had allegedly been stopped and strip-searched

In the middle of Smegmadale’s High Street in broad daylight by two PCSO’s from the Renta-Thug agency who are both listed as convicted paedophiles in the Sex Offenders Register.

Today’s disclosure will heighten concern about the police’s use of the Section 44 power of the Orwellian Terrorism Act of 2000 where officers can stop and search suspects without reasonable suspicion – just for a bit of a laugh or to harass darkies or Jolly Jihadi types – or – as in this particular case – to participate in a spot of perverted kiddie fiddling.

Police Commissioner Sir Pilchard Weaselberg announced this year that use of such searches would be scaled back after criticism from the Government’s terrorism watchdog, Lord Jarvis Snivellington-Snide of Kuntsford, of the excessive number being carried out against non-whites around the country on the idiotic premise they might all be Muslim suicide bombers.

According to Snivellington-Snide “The British plods are so thick they can’t even tell the difference between a Brazilian electrician and a genuine Jolly Jihadi Arabic-type Muslim suicide bomber – no wonder I can’t get the wiring finished in my loft extension.”

Independent Police Complaints Commission spokeswoman Fellattia van der Gobble told Fux News that the girls had been stopped by the two off-duty plain clothed PCSO’s and searched for bombs and weapons of mass destruction as they both looked like ‘very dodgy Paki types’.

“Our IPCC investigation will examine whether the use of these powers in this case was lawful, reasonable and correctly carried out.”

“However it must be remembered that these two girls were wearing militant-type dresses – and such being junior Brownie Guide Scout uniforms does not detract from the fact they were acting suspiciously by carrying a sealed biscuit tin containing what the two PCSO’s considered to be an improvised explosive device – even though it turned out to actually contain home-made mince pies.”

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via

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