Libyan Nut-Job Enthralls UN Assembly w/ Rambling Yarn

It was meant to be a day of global reconciliation, when the new Kenyan Messiah of the Free World (sic) would miraculously wipe clean the slate of the past eight years of Neo-Colonial Imperialist US hatred and herald an era of unity and brotherly love under the New World Order’s military-industrial Zionist jackboot.

This might well have been so were it not for a short man, swathed in bedsheets and a funny little felt hat waving his arms around and shouting “Where’s me effin’ tent – which of you twats nicked it?” – bursting onto the UN’s centre stage – which brought the entire proceedings to a Marx Brothers style impasse.

So the best laid plans of counterfeit Hawaiian demigods and other Rothslime shadow government stooges and traitors went totally tits up when the element of diabolical chance stumbled into the thick of the planned political posturing ceremony of egocentric self-promotion and aggrandizment – and turned the entire sordid affair into a Keystone Cops comical extravaganza.

Colonel Muammar al Maddafi – for it was most certainly he – grabbed his Andy Warhol-guaranteed 15 minutes of fame at the UN building in New York yesterday and ran with it until the soles and heels of his Wal-Mart sandals overheated and fell apart.

In fact the numpty Colonel ran with it so hard he stretched it to an hour and forty minutes – six times longer than his allotted slot, to the dismay of UN delegates and guests alike – legions of whom fell into comas while others headed for the toilets to vomit.

On this – his first visit to the US – and in his maiden address to the United Nations General Assembly – Maddafi fully lived up to his reputation for eccentricity, bloody-mindedness and verbal diarrhoea – providing a quality performance of stand-up comedy to rival – if not surpass – some of the best Las Vegas acts combining political satire and wit with risible slapstick.

The capricious Colonel started off his farcical performance by tearing up a copy of the UN charter in front of startled delegates – then hit the Truth Button dead centre when he accused the security council of being a terrorist body – and next called for Dubya Bush and Tony Bliar to be put on trial for kick-starting the illegal Afghan and Iraq wars.

The entire assembly erupted with a stentorian conflicting mix of derisive laughter from Western representatives and clamorous applause from Third World delegates when Maddafi demanded $7.7 trillion in compensation for the centuries-long ravages of colonialism on Africa – and declared that the Sneezy Pig swine flu pandemic was a biological weapon created in a Zionist military laboratory to snuff Arab types and Muslims in general – all without pausing for breath.

Following a quick swig of rancid camel’s milk from a goatskin bota hanging from the podium, Maddafi turned once again on the terrified audience and – pointing an accusatory finger at the Israeli Ambassador – demanded to know which Rothshite stooge sanctioned Mossad and the Corsicans to snuff JFK when he threatened to shut down the rogue state’s nuclear weapon development programme in 1963 – and then sealed the death pact when he issued presidential decree EO 11110 and ordered the Treasury to start printing their own United States Notes to replace the Zionist banker cabal’s Federal Reserve Note dollars – and put the Fed’ out of business.

All of the above – everyday rhetoric for the self- proclaimed North African King of Kings – long a sponsor of terrorism against the infidel West – who seized the Libyan leadership slot in a 1969 military coup d’etat and abolished the corrupt monarchy in favour of an even more corrupt revolutionary council – headed by himself – as Great Leader for Life – and by default – the Mahdi of the Islamic world.

Hence little wonder so august a personage was enraged with his reception as a Head of State guest of the US and New York who – on arrival – was rudely informed he couldn’t erect his customary tent in Central Park.

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via