The War on Kwanzaa
I went into a Kroger’s today, and not one person wished me a Fruitful Kwanzaa….when i went to the WalMart to pick up some tasty steaks, again, not one Fruitful Kwanzaa….what is up with that? Have we come to such…
Dr. Phil Offers Free Psychological Counseling to Tiger Woods
Dr. Phil McGraw, America’s favorite unlicensed psychologist and self-proclaimed therapist to the stars, has offered to provide Tiger Woods with free psychological counseling if it will help him “get real” again. In an interview between Dr. Phil and Tiger last…
Ask Hank – Battle over Basement Bunker Becomes Brouhaha
Dear Hank, I have a serious issue that needs addressed. I’m a conservative, belong to the NRA and have just finished my bunker cause we all know what’s coming in 2012. My damn wife wants to decorate the damn thing…
The Christmas Gift of Conservatism
Once again our ConSox are bulging with these great, new (in most cases) gift ideas for those new people in your life who are discovering Conservatism and its joys. It’s never too soon to gift your son or daughter with…
Congress Adds Goats to New Economic Stimulus Plan
WASHINGTON – In a continuing effort to avoid recession, House leaders and the White House were pleased to announce plans for a new economic stimulus package that would include a goat, a sack of dry beans, and an acre of…
Adam Lambert May Perform at Academy Awards
It was announced today that Adam Lambert is cautiously being asked to perform at the Academy Awards. The caveat is that he must appear solo on stage, wear a loose-fitting jogging suit, and sing a medley of Barry Manilow and…
Wounded British Soldiers Ward Off Prime Minister’s Visit
The UK Office of the Prime Minister today announced and welcomed the Army’s 1,000th recruit of the year – sixteen-year-old Private Angus Munt from Glasgow’s Pikey Park Sink or Swim Council Estate. Conversely the winner of the ‘First Century’ Squaddies-in-Bodybags…
Ashley Madison Not One of Tiger Woods’ Mistresses
If Ashley Madison is not one of Tiger Woods’ many mistresses, then who is she and what does this have to do with Tiger Woods you ask? Plenty. If you didn’t know better, you’d think that Ashley Madison was just…
Once You’ve Had Tiger, You Can’t Go Back
I rushed into the conference room where my colleagues had gathered to discuss potential stories to publish in the next day’s newspaper. As the editor, Oscar sat at the head of the table, gulping down a cup of foul-smelling coffee,…