Montel Williams Caught w/ Drug Pipe; Sounds Like Episode of Montel
So here’s something fun and weird. Montel Williams was cited by the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office for possession of a marijuana pipe at the airport in Milwaukee. But is it strange that he had the pipe, that he was flying,…
Linday Lohan Denies Stalking Sam Ronson, Does Anyway
Venice Beach, CA – GlossyNews.com: Lindsay Lohan may have kicked the drug habit, but it seems ex-girlfriend DJ Sam Ronson is too powerful to quit. It’s being reported that, fresh from rehab, she’s out jonesing for more of that mysterious…
Critic Pans ‘True Grit’, Deported for Failure to Show Long-Form Birth Certificate
This normally quiet Midwestern town has been shaken to its foundation in recent days, due to the shocking news of a traitor at work among its peaceful, tree lined streets. At issue is Ms. Wanda Carlson’s latest writing in the…
China is Eating Our Lunch – And It’s Dim-Sum, Dim Bulb
The relief guard approached the other guard as he was on his watch. As usual Cecil’s mind was fixed on some inner scene; his eyes half closed and blank, his face dumb and peaceful like a cow in a field…
Barbour to Develop Decoder Ring for 2012 Run
YAZOO CITY, MS — GlossyNews.com In preparation for announcing his intentions to run for President in 2012, Haley Barbour, Governor of Mississippi, has begun extensive development with the Ovaltine Company of the 2012 Presidential Secret Decoder, much like those in…
Smokin’ Token Miley’s Bong “Not Police Evidence,” Up for Sale
Picutres of the annoying starlet choking up on the toke bat surfaced last month, which she dismissed as representing something slightly more legal than marijuana. Yesterday, it was announced the now famous bong is up for sale. Police have assured…
Pete Postlethwaite Takes Final Bow
If you’ve ever seen a movie, then you’ve seen the late, great Pete Postlethwaite. It was announced today that curtains have finally been called on the greatest performance of his life – that of his life itself. Postlethwaite had been…
Cooking with Barack: Lame Duck Stew
Even though this is called duck stew, critics of the administration are quick to point out that there is no duck involved. It is only served at this specific time of year in Washington DC. It is not to everyone’s…
Google Buys Wikileaks for an Undisclosed $30 Billion USD
Mountain View, CA- GlossyNews.com In what is likely the fastest negotiated buyout in history, mega-corporation Google will purchase the redheaded stepchild of the information age, Wikileaks.org, from founder J. Paul Assange for a staggering, undisclosed sum of $30 billion USD….
Baby Boomer Planning Ap Pushes Retirement Age to 170
A new computer application available to baby boomers, who are now reaching retirement age at the rate of 10,000 a day, allows optimistic boomers to plan for an affluent retirement at the ripe old age of 170. The program allows…