Montel Williams Caught w/ Drug Pipe; Sounds Like Episode of Montel

So here’s something fun and weird. Montel Williams was cited by the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office for possession of a marijuana pipe at the airport in Milwaukee. But is it strange that he had the pipe, that he was flying, or that he was in Milwaukee?

The ever-helpful TSA allegedly nabbed the erstwhile talk show host as he went through security with what they described as a metal pipe commonly used to smoke marijuana. And if anyone should know, it would be them, being total delinquents themselves.

If it was me, I’d have thought it was a bike pump or a medical device, as Montel described it. Well, he called it a joint replacement, so take that however you like.

Montel apparently tried to bring the micro-bong in his carry on luggage, but it was caught by the ever-diligent pretards at security screening.

Cops admit there was no detectible residue on the pipe, but sources close to Mr. Williams insist that it’s only because he uses his slim, lizard tongue, to lick out every last microgram of THC.

Police were indifferent to the fact that Mr. Williams uses medical marijuana to treat his Multiple Sclerosis (MS), and stated that, “If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck; the black guy is a criminal.”

Despite repeatedly being noticed as black, the police showed remarkable restraint in their decision not to taze him, hold him on the ground and kick him viciously in the head, despite promising to do so if he failed to stop being black.

It’s been reported that Williams was released after paying a $484 citation (in cash or paternity testing vouchers) for possession of drug paraphernalia, even though the drug in question was most likely prescribed to him legally by his doctor.

Author: Dexter Sinistri

Dexter Sinistri is a famously centrist writer who has worked as a Hollywood correspondent for a number of leading publications since 2005. Though once a photographer, Mr. Sinistri struck out as a writer on all things celebrity, and he likes to consider himself a tremendous asset to Glossy News, though by most accounts, he has fallen somewhat short of this effort.

1 thought on “Montel Williams Caught w/ Drug Pipe; Sounds Like Episode of Montel

  1. Many of us have now finally wised up to the fact that the best avenue towards realistically dealing with drug use and addiction is through proper regulation, which is what we already do with alcohol & tobacco –two of our most dangerous mood altering substances. But for those of you whose ignorant minds traverse a fantasy plane of existence, you will no doubt remain sorely upset with any type of solution that does not seem to lead to the absurd and unattainable utopia of a drug free society.

    There is an irrefutable connection between drug prohibition and the crime, corruption, disease and death it causes. If you are not capable of understanding this connection, then maybe you’re using something far stronger than the rest of us. Anybody ‘halfway bright’ and who’s not psychologically challenged, should be capable of understanding, that it is not simply the demand for drugs that creates the mayhem; it is our refusal to let legal businesses meet that demand.

    No amount of money, police powers, weaponry, wishful thinking or pseudo-science will make our streets safer; only an end to prohibition can do that. How much longer are you willing to foolishly risk your own survival by continuing to ignore the obvious, historically confirmed solution?

    If you support prohibition then you’ve helped trigger the worst crime wave in history.

    If you support prohibition you’ve helped escalate the number of people on welfare who can’t find employment due to their felony status.

    If you support prohibition you’ve a helped create a black market with massive incentives to hook both adults and children alike.

    If you support prohibition you’ve helped to make these dangerous substances available in schools and prisons.

    If you support prohibition you’ve helped raise gang warfare to a level not seen since the days of alcohol bootlegging.

    If you support prohibition you’ve helped create the prison-for-profit synergy with drug lords.

    If you support prohibition you’ve helped remove many important civil liberties from those citizens you falsely claim to represent.

    If you support prohibition you’ve helped put previously unknown and contaminated drugs on the streets.

    If you support prohibition you’ve helped to escalate Theft, Muggings and Burglaries.

    If you support prohibition you’ve helped to divert scarce law-enforcement resources away from protecting your fellow citizens from the ever escalating violence against their person or property.

    If you support prohibition you’ve helped overcrowd the courts and prisons, thus making it increasingly impossible to curtail the people who are hurting and terrorizing others.

    If you support prohibition you’ve helped evolve local gangs into transnational enterprises with intricate power structures that reach into every corner of society, controlling vast swaths of territory with significant social and military resources at their disposal.

    If you support prohibition then prepare yourself for even more death, corruption, sickness, imprisonment, unemployment, foreclosed homes, and the complete loss of the rule of law and the Bill of Rights.

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