Florida AG Pam Bondi’s Long Beautiful Hair
TAMPA – Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi speaks before the Republican National Convention this week on the subject of a whisper campaign. Will she or won’t she? Known for her gleaming blonde hair and barback good looks, the rumor is…
New Karl Rove Infomercial: “Weaseling Your Way To Success”
Greetings fellow Americans – Are you one of the downtrodden ones who have never had a lucky break? I was one too, but I am going to pass on to you how you can break out of the bad luck…
Huckabee Asks RNC Organizers if He Can Bring His Bass
TAMPA, FL – Gearing up to play a memorable part in the 2012 Republican National Convention this week, former Arkansas Governor and presidential campaigner Mike Huckabee has asked RNC organizers if it would be okay for him to bring along…
Paul Ryan Something of An O.G.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin- Recently, news surfaced that Paul Ryan’s college sweet heart was black, but what media outlets don’t know is that Paul Ryan was O.G. The term, O.G., is an abbreviation for original gangster, a term used by hip hop…
Hurricane Isaac, New Orleans Mulligan
New Orleans, Louisiana- As New Orleans prepares to be hit by another potentially devastating hurricane, New Orleans officials hit the airwaves proving how they will not screw this one up. New Orleans Mayor, Mitch Landrieu stated in a press conference…
Man Awakes from Coma; Wonders Where All His MySpace Friends Are
After spending 6 years in a comatose condition stemming from a bizarre bungee jumping accident during an otherwise raucous and spirited Spring break in Cancun, local man Bryce Peters, now 27, has incredibly regained consciousness. Doctors always remained hopeful of…
Top 18 Dumbest Quotes from Mitt Romney
We recently ran a few pieces highlighting silly gaffes and statements made by Barack Obama and Joe Biden, so in an effort to remain balanced, we now present some of the dumbest, most alarming statements made by Republican nominee Willard…
What’s Harder Than Voting for “The Other Guy”
I have discovered what the hardest thing any person will ever have to do in life is. The hardest things in life is biting into a person’s homemade cookie and trying not to show any signs of how bad you…
Supreme Court Protects Corporations’ Right to Bear Arms
Washington D.C. – Today the Supreme Court upheld Corporations’ Second Amendment Rights. This decision comes in the wake of the much controversial decision, FEC v. Citizens United, where the Court upheld corporations First Amendment rights to free speech by striking…
Hey Religious Nuts: Why Don’t You Say Anything About God’s Wrath on the Republicans In Tampa?
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!!! Where are all the Hellfire and Brimstone preachers at? Where are they when you need them? A hurricane is bearing down on the Republican National Convention and you don’t hear a peep out of them. Are…