Florida AG Pam Bondi’s Long Beautiful Hair

TAMPA – Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi speaks before the Republican National Convention this week on the subject of a whisper campaign.

Will she or won’t she?

Known for her gleaming blonde hair and barback good looks, the rumor is Ms. Bondi will formally announce her acceptance of a multi-million dollar Clairol contract during her fifteen minutes of GOP fame.

RIGHT: This is actually her. We’re not making this up, it really is.

Ronald Reagan was the last Republican politician associated with the company best known for hair color products.

Bondi unsuccessfully represented Florida before the Supreme Court of the United States as the lead plaintiff in the 26-state legal challenge of the Affordable Care Act. Although the health care law was ultimately deemed constitutional, Ms. Bondi’s hair color never lost its golden glimmer throughout the proceedings, prompting Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to garner an opinion from Justice Sonia Sotomayor – does she or doesn’t she?

Clairol successfully branded the question often asked by women of women with too-perfect hair color in 1955.

But do blondes have more fun? Bondi has kept her roots to herself since the SCOTUS defeat. She most recently made the news citrus bocce bowling while flying Florida’s friendly skies as a passenger aboard the Romney campaign plane. Fellow orange bowlers U.S. Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) and presumptive Republican-nominee Mitt Romney reportedly commented to aboard flight press that Pam’s locks looked lovely during the game, swept to one side as she strategized a bowl down the aisle.

No stranger to walking down the aisle, the media went to great lengths earlier this year to confirm a third-time’s-a-charm Bondi wedding after a priceless photograph of Florida’s top law enforcement officer surfaced on Facebook that all but shouted pre-nup JELL-O shots. Enroute to the Cayman Islands for the ceremony (which may or may not have taken place) she served guests drinks, her hair beaconing the happiness of one thousand Florida sunrises (although the photo suggests a quick touch-up at the part appeared a pre-wedding must).

Much like Mitt Romney, Pam Bondi is dogged by bad press and is unable to shake what began as an admirable story – her adoption of a Katrina dog; a St. Bernard she named Noah. When owners Steve and Dorreen Couture – guardians of two orphaned grandchildren – finally located their pet and came forward to claim their dog, Bondi did what any compassionate person would do.

She kept the dog, filed a lawsuit and accused the family of neglect.

The case settled out of court weeks later. Bondi released the hound back to the family, her hair ever so luminous.

Does she or doesn’t she?

Only Pam’s hairdresser knows for sure.


4 comments on “Florida AG Pam Bondi’s Long Beautiful Hair

  1. What? COmpassionate people keep other peoples dogs that are lost in disasters????? Can you say selfish blonde bimbo? Who cares what party shes in.

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