Huckabee Asks RNC Organizers if He Can Bring His Bass

TAMPA, FL – Gearing up to play a memorable part in the 2012 Republican National Convention this week, former Arkansas Governor and presidential campaigner Mike Huckabee has asked RNC organizers if it would be okay for him to bring along his bass guitar.

Offering to knock out a few Rolling Stones numbers during his 10-minute address, Huckabee insisted that “this will really get the convention swinging.”

“I just wanted to do a few riffs with the band,” said the 57-year-old. “I promise not to go overboard. Just three songs, and then I’ll let Condoleezza Rice have the floor. I swear.”

Huckabee, who, along with his band Capitol Offense, lent musical accompaniment to the Convention in 2004, said that it would be “a whole lot of fun to just put on one more show for these people.”

“Here me out,” he continued. “Me and the guys have been working on a really funky cover of Paint It Black. Yes, you heard me: Paint It Freaking Black! Aren’t you just a little bit excited?”

“Come on, RNC people: what do you say?”

In an email sent to the former presidential candidate, however, RNC chairman Reince Priebus has advised Huckabee that, while he appreciates the gesture, it’s really not that sort of thing.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

2 thoughts on “Huckabee Asks RNC Organizers if He Can Bring His Bass

  1. Hold on there bub!
    The Huckster LOVES science! Why, he invented the hillbilly internet..Single-handedly unveiled the threat of global warming from cow farts…Introduced the re-useable Depends undergarment…Developed the full inertia boomerang…and can play the bass guitar soley with one finger! Now that is some kinda science if you ask me!

  2. I don’t care for Huckabee the way he doesn’t care for science. He deserves to have gained back all that weight. He’s a bad person and he should feel bad.

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