Greetings fellow Americans – Are you one of the downtrodden ones who have never had a lucky break?

I was one too, but I am going to pass on to you how you can break out of the bad luck cycle with my new book “Weaseling Your Way To Success!”

As a child I was unattractive, unpopular and as dorky as Popeye going through spinach withdrawals. But I powered through all that to the very top echelons of our society.

This book, which has become a top seller on the Neo-Nazi learn-to-read program, will show you all the conniving tricks you need to know to claw your way to the top by undermining everyone else.

Chapters include:

1. Ethics Are For Schmucks
2. Joseph Goebbels 10 Steps to Schmoozing Everyone
3. Why Lincoln’s Statement “you can’t fool all the people all the time” is a Handicap Needing to be Overcome (I sincerely believe that if a person tries hard enough he CAN learn to fool ALL the people All the time.)
4. Making Yourself Look Good by Making Your Opponent Look Bad (The only real way to win anything!)
5. Getting a Good Front Man in Political Office to Divert Everyone’s Attention While We Manipulate Things From Behind the Scenes (We almost had this down to perfection in the golden years of the Bush/Cheney domination.)
6. How to Get Selfish Personal, Partisan and Corporate Legislation to Look Like it is Patriotic and Good for the Whole Country

To be successful the Karl Rove way remember this key word: L-I-E-S.

L = Less work.
I = Intelligent reorientation of the truth.
E = Effective scheming.
S = Spice up the story.

To be a successful far right wing idealist one cannot be tripping over such things as ‘having a conscience’ or ‘being moral.’ ‘Being moral’ is something we’ll leave to the preachers to preach to keep the masses under control.

One very important thing to remember – keep yourself in the background as much as possible. You can’t be a good weasel if everyone sees what you are doing!

Be sure to buy my book now! I can never have enough money or enough people believing what I say!

Bye!