ProTip: Cool Overly Hot Coffee by Holding it out the Window (comic)
While this lovely bit of fiction didn’t actually happen with my children, as they graciously allowed me to portray, it did happen with a group of friends about 15 years ago. J-Dizzle had just taken the wheel, and I’d just…
Evil Excel Spreadsheet Doing Everything In Power to Stop Guy Leaving Work on Time
INDIANAPOLIS – Seemingly not content to just let office worker Aaron McMillan clock out of work at the regular time of five-thirty, a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet is doing everything in its Goddamn power Monday to make sure that McMillan stays…
Man Picks Up Own Litter Like Some Kind of Superhero
COLUMBUS, OH—On Tuesday, stunned witnesses reported seeing a man picking up a cheeseburger wrapper and placing it in the trash after he had attempted to toss it into a nearby receptacle and missed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything…
Cocktail Party Deteriorates Into Political Party
INDIANAPOLIS – A cocktail party took just two hours to deteriorate into a fledgling political party Monday, after the event’s laid-back atmosphere took on a more serious and philosophical tone. Guests arrived at The Hilton Indianapolis Hotel in buoyant mood,…
Stupid Non-Depressed Roommate Walking Around, Doing Stuff
SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Area man and local depressive Adam Holt reported that his “stupid roommate is just, like, walking around… doing stuff.” “How can he do that?” wondered Holt. Holt took advantage of his ideal observation point on the living room sofa,…
Business Lesson #83: What to do when your customers complain
Corporations do a lot of things well, but one thing that some of them could use a little help with is how to say I’m sorry when they screw up. Historically, like George Bush, most companies are not very good…
Real Christians needed to help remove Arabs
The ad read “Real Christians needed to help remove Arabs” so I called the number and pretended to be a volunteer. A pleasant, cheery woman’s voice responded. CAFI: Christian Alliance For Israel. Doing God’s work. Barb Weir: Hi. I saw…
Important Health Safety Warning: These Foods Will Kill You
It seems every week there is a new research study about yet another popular food staple that has been linked to cancer or heart disease. It can all be very confusing. First they tell you that grape juice is a…
*80% of “Pirated Tracks” Already Legally Owned
The RIAA and their cronies like to claim tirllions in lost record sales, mere pennies of which the actual recording artists eventually see, but Maybeth Barker of Parketh, Illinois is part of the trend that bucks the system. I downloaded…
Myth-busting website Snopes.com revealed to be a hoax – according to Snopes.com
Visit Snopes.com, the myth-busting web site and you will discover something new every time. And in most cases, what you’ll discover is that a lot of things you always thought were true were in fact LIES! For example, just last…