ProTip: Cool Overly Hot Coffee by Holding it out the Window (comic)

While this lovely bit of fiction didn’t actually happen with my children, as they graciously allowed me to portray, it did happen with a group of friends about 15 years ago.

J-Dizzle had just taken the wheel, and I’d just picked up the cocoa, and it was scorching hot. He said something like, “simple thermodynamics. Hold it out the window and the passing air will strip the newtons from the cup. Voila, cooler cocoa!”

Okay, he said nothing like that, but the principle remains. He’d done it before with success, but never at 70-damn-miles-per-hour, which is the very lowest speed we were traveling. The lid came off, sprayed scalding cocoa on Rachael in the back seat, and made everyone pretty upset.

For one thing, my cocoa got too cold and gone-ish. Rachel was doused in scalding cocoa. Heather almost peed herself laughing, and J-Dizzle had to eat a pound of crow. Not metaphorically. We found some road kill and made him ingest it. Fair is fair.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

Brian is on temporary personal leave but has left us with an innumerous backlog of comics to share until his return. Check back for daily updates.

roadtrip-cocoa

Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.