Stupid Non-Depressed Roommate Walking Around, Doing Stuff

SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Area man and local depressive Adam Holt reported that his “stupid roommate is just, like, walking around… doing stuff.”

“How can he do that?” wondered Holt.

Holt took advantage of his ideal observation point on the living room sofa, where he had been watching a Three’s Company marathon at an inaudibly low volume for “about six hours.”

RIGHT: Holt observes in astonished silence. Photo by hello lovely via Flickr. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

A stunned and perplexed Holt told reporters that his roommate, Will Matthews, washed a glass in the sink, wiped some water off the counter and even closed a cabinet that had been left open by Holt from the previous night.

In a catatonic state of deep despair Holt strained to understand how his “superhuman or something” roommate summoned the “unnatural ambition” to accomplish such feats.

Holt was then quietly outraged at the sight of Matthews going into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

“I get it, already,” muttered Holt under his breath.

Author: Rusty Shackleford

Rusty Shackleford is a comedy writer typing away from a bunker in an undisclosed location.

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