Man Sacked for Wearing Arsenal Jersey

NAIROBI, Kenya – An employee of Kenya Airways, Kenya’s national airline was apparently sacked for wearing an Arsenal FC (football club) tee shirt to a Kenya Airways sponsored event at the Masai Mara.

Eyewitnesses say a Mr. Bosire, (former) corporate communications manager at the airline was assaulted by the Managing Director who shouted something at him before first pulling off his blazer then making away with the jinxed tee at a two in the morning after party before being fired the following morning and handed his shirt by HR, in a nice way.

Reliable sources believe the MD, Mr. Titus Naikuni was drunk.

Meanwhile, Arsenal FC (fan club) Kenya chapter released an official statement on their face book page condemning the act as yet another attempt to silence them while trampling their God given right to freedom of worship and expression.

So far, no official statement from Kenya Airways or Naikuni has been made but sources close to both sides dispute “Arsenal” had anything to do with it.

“This is another classic reason why we lobbied hard for the Media Bill as a Corporate” said Klein (not his real name), some damage control guy, explaining their support of a recently passed media gagging bill.

“How do you wear our bitter rivals, “Fly Emirates” tee shirt to a Kenya Airways sponsored event? The key word here is sponsored. It seems Mr. Bosire here forgot who butters his bread and for a corporate communications manager he should have known better. Manchester United, Pepsi, CocaCola, Sydney–ring a bell? Oh! My bad, I forgot. He’s an Arsenal fan” added Klein (not his real name).

Lawyers representing Mr. Bosire have already pressed charges including but not limited to sexual assault leading to public humiliation and sources close to Mr. Naikuni’s counsel have put up a strong defense to prove the KQ MD is a gentle person who wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Following these unfolding events, the Kenya National Association of Professional Counsellors and KEPSA(Kenya Private Sector Alliance) have jointly warned the public against blind following of EPL teams which are deemed a threat to career development, cause grievous bodily harm or even death by hanging or falling from a storey building.

No names were given for legal reasons but Blackburn Rovers topped the list of much safer even therapeutic bet because of their blue and white split jersey which experts said was sort of yin-yang-ish. Aston Villa came second because it sounds like a Hacienda or Manor, a major catalyst for positive thoughts.

As both parties prepared for their day in court, they jointly applied for a trial Judge who doesn’t watch football.

Author: MRJ

Mahmud R. Joel loves to play with stereotypes but frankly is too lazy to work, too nervous to steal and too proud to beg, but we 'does' guarantee news satire in real time-that's how we kill time. And FYI, just like the "S" in Harry S. Truman, the "R" stands for nothing really. Not giving much here. For more check us out at - the first African news satire and humour blog with a global perspective.