“I am not Seafood. I am… a Man”
When comedian Mel Brooks decided he wanted to take a break from comedy and produce a serious film, he settled on the story of Joseph Merrick, the famed “Elephant Man” of the Victorian England sideshow circuit. When it came to…
Americans Debate Whether they Get Stuff Done
Dateline: WASHINGTON—Politicians rallied on Get Stuff Done Day, to reassure the American people that their government is in working order. Many boasted of their accomplishments while in office, describing in great detail the stuff in question.
NYC to Name “New Yorker You Least Want to Run Into” Award After Alec Baldwin
New York City – The New York City Visitor’s Bureau has decided to begin handing out an annual award designed to reward a recipient, while at the same time alerting the public to a person who, should they see him…
Breadsticks Power Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Remake
New York City, New York – Heroes in a half shell, breadstick power! This is the updated catchphrase in the newest remake of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, scheduled to be released in the United States on August 8th. The film…
Jay-Z Forced to Rewrite “99 Problems” After Sister-in-Law Becomes #100
New York City – Famous rapper Jay-Z thought he had it made. Married to one of the most famous people in the world, singer Beyonce, the wordsmith has been enjoying life since 2004 when he announced he only had ninety-nine…
Duck Dynasty’s Robertson Slams Gay Footballer Michael Sam
There were plenty of tears flowing when Michael Sam, the first openly gay football player, was drafted Saturday afternoon in the 7th round by the St. Louis Rams. RIGHT: Phil Robertson and his latest duck call. (CLICK TO ENLARGE.) Image…
Miley Cyrus Complains About Dwindling Number of Ways to Shock Audiences
San Francisco – At a recent concert stop at the “City by the Bay”, pop nuisance Miley Cyrus whined that it’s getting too hard to shock audiences at her shows these days and that Madonna and Lady Gaga have racked…
New Study Shows the Mexican Cartel to Be “Bunch of Homos(exuals)”
A new study done by the Political Association of Immigration Soldiers and American Students reveals the Mexican Cartel, the same people that love to molest its house rats (no, not their children), to be having mass intercourse with one another.
Media Hungry Johnny Manziel says, “I’m Gay Too”
Not to be shown up in this year’s NFL’s draft, Johnny Manziel, aka Johnny Football has announced that he’s gay too. After the media frenzy over the St. Louis Rams drafting the first openly gay football player Michael Sam, Manziel…
CNN’s Anderson Cooper Interviews Donald Sterling
In his first public statements and media interview, Anderson Cooper sits down with LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling. Cooper – So Mr. Sterling, what do you think happened to Flight 370? Sterling – When I listen to that tape, I…