Categorized | Human Interest, Sports

Media Hungry Johnny Manziel says, “I’m Gay Too!”

Media Hungry Johnny Manziel says, “I’m Gay Too!”

Not to be shown up in this year’s NFL’s draft, Johnny Manziel, aka Johnny Football has announced that he’s gay too.

After the media frenzy over the St. Louis Rams drafting the first openly gay football player Michael Sam, Manziel attempted to grab back the spotlight by screaming to the presses, “I’m gay too!” while dining out with a beautiful brunette whom he claimed was his sister and definitely not one of his many alleged girlfriends.

“It’s true,” the first round Cleveland Brown pick said while polishing his Heisman ring. “I dig dudes. The bigger, the better. But that doesn’t make me a bad football player. To the contrary, I’m one of the best. Far better than that other gay player, Michael Simms or whatever.”

“Sam,” a reporter corrected.

“No, my name’s Johnny. Johnny Football. Geeze, you’ve forgotten my name already?”

When asked why he waited so long to come out of the closet, Manziel claimed, “I didn’t know it was the cool thing to do now. CNN can’t stop talking about it.”

When reporters scoffed and began mumbling under their breath at Johnny’s claims, he double downed. “During my freshman year at A&M, I used to occasionally enjoy a side of beef, if you know what I mean. That was one sexy cow.”

As the reporters began walking off, Johnny yelled at them, “I’m going to be the best gay football player in the NFL. Hey, did I mention that I’m also a eunuch?”

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 13 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Jenny Corvette is the pen name of Jennifer Gardner, a freelance writer living in Southwest Michigan. She has been nearly arrested and sued over her satirical writing about her local hick town. In her free time, she plays pool, volunteers with political campaigns, and paints Spray Paint Art, all of the proceeds benefiting animal causes. She can be found on facebook at http://facebook.com/jennycorvette

.

4 Responses to “Media Hungry Johnny Manziel says, “I’m Gay Too!””

  1. E. Williams says:

    Good one, Jenny!

  2. Herman Ripps says:

    Jenny Broad……nice try, but you'll have to get your headlines elsewhere.

  3. Herman Ripps says:

    Hey B……! Give me a timeline…….What restaurant………Where and When…..Or shut your LYING mouth!!!!

  4. Herman Ripps, there's nothing wrong with being gay, or a eunuch.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Check out our friends:
Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Glossy News Epic Mini Golf Trailer
(Comment on this video here)
-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Visit the “Old Version” of our Site

     
Still want more? Find thousands of buried satirical gems in our archives on the old version of Glossy News!

Check This Out!

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

7 posts
7 posts
2 posts
2 posts
2 posts
1 post


All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial