Duck Dynasty’s Robertson Slams Gay Footballer Michael Sam

Duck Dynasty’s Robertson Slams Gay Footballer Michael Sam

There were plenty of tears flowing when Michael Sam, the first openly gay football player, was drafted Saturday afternoon in the 7th round by the St. Louis Rams.

RIGHT: Phil Robertson and his latest duck call. (CLICK TO ENLARGE.) Image appears courtesy of Steve Ryan at

Some were tears of joy for Sam historically breaking the rainbow colored ceiling and achieving diversity in a macho sport like football, but some were tears of sorrow for the direction even the NFL is taking in an era of inclusiveness and acceptance of the LGBT community.

One such critic was Duck Dynasty Commander Phil Robertson, who waded into deep water earlier this year when he equated homosexuality to drunkenness and terrorism during an interview with GQ magazine.

This time he came ranting to the panel of FOX and Friends.

“I wouldn’t want to be bending over in front of him, if you know what I mean,” he began, as the panel started to nervously giggle.

“I think it’s disgusting to see a muscular man in tight pants, panting and breathing hard over other muscular men in tight pants, physically exerting all their energy, grabbing and groping each other in piles of human sweat. Um, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go check on something,” he said as he abruptly stood up and walked off to the nearest restroom.

When he returned, pants readjusted and cold water still dripping off his gray beard, he continued, “I haven’t seen that much male on male kissing since the last episode of Glee when Blaine and Kurt were dancing after Kurt was voted Prom Queen. Or so I hear. I don’t watch that program, personally, due to its sinful nature and bad haircuts.”

When asked if he thought that Sam was a modern day Jackie Robinson, Robertson shook his head and said, “Jackie Robinson couldn’t help that he was colored. I’m sure the black folk were happier on their Negro leagues when things were simpler and everyone spoke English, even if it was jive talkin’.”

The negative reaction to Robertson’s recent statements has resulted in A&E permanently suspending him from their network, at least until the backlash from Duck Dynasty fans and fellow bigots threatening to boycott the Duck Dynasty Bobbleheads on sale at Walmart will force A&E to reinstate Robertson at a future date.

Michael Sam had no comment when asked about Phil Robertson’s comments. He only smiled and kissed his boyfriend again.


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Jenny Corvette is the pen name of Jennifer Gardner, a freelance writer living in Southwest Michigan. She has been nearly arrested and sued over her satirical writing about her local hick town. In her free time, she plays pool, volunteers with political campaigns, and paints Spray Paint Art, all of the proceeds benefiting animal causes. She can be found on facebook at


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