Search Results for: keith
April Fools 2.0: Even MORE Ridiculous Tabloid Headlines You Will NEVER Believe!
French Democracy Doomed: Tony Blair ‘Helpfully Advises’ French not to Stage a National Front Coup Against Macron California Colleges Ban Ice Cream Vans for Triggering Lactose Intolerant Community
MSNBC: “Donald Trump Maintains Resounding 90% Approval Rating… In Russia!”
The cutting-edge liberal journalists of MSNBC have recently provided some astonishing revelations about the POTUS. The home of Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, and other people slightly to the left of Fox News and Infowars, has recently come up with some…
12 Exciting 2017 News Snippets You Definitely Won’t Have Seen Yet: (Or Believed) (2/2)
Jess Phillips Stabs Jeremy Corbyn in the Front! Like, LITERALLY, duuuuuuuuuude! Phillips Outraged at Subsequent Wildly Disproportionate Twitter Harassment Moderate Khameine-ite Ayatollah Legitimizes Reverse Chickengirl Position for Some Edgier Farmyard Fun Alex Jones Joins Washington Post, Furnishes Numerous Useful Insights…
Lorde’s New Songs Leaked
Lorde’s newest songs have been leaked to the media. A secret snitch sent along a copy of the eighteen year-old New Zealander’s latest songs. The source says “Little White Yugos” is likely to be at least a moderate success on…
Farewell to a Legend. RIP Conservative Stephen Colbert
As a fake news man myself, I’ve been a loyal devotee of Stephen Colbert since before the pseudo-pundit had his own show. Thursday, the legendary difference-maker signed off as his quasi-conservative self for the last time. I watched the very…
Tiger Woods Unable To Play In Masters After Successful Penisectomy
Tiger Woods announced Tuesday that he has undergone a successful penisectomy for a vestigial weiner that has been haunting him for several years. The surgery was performed Monday in Park City, Utah, by neurosurgeon Dr. Charles Ima Richer. The procedure…
Redskins Owner Dan Snyder To Open Chain of Reservation Liquor Stores
Responding to claims of racial insensitivity over the team name, NFL Redskins owner Dan Snyder embarked on a month long voyage of discovery to dozens of Native American Reservations. In a widely distributed press release issued on Monday, Snyder said…
Kris Kringle Appointed Head of NSA
Phoenix, AZ- He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. Now he hears who you are talking to so be good for goodness sake. The “Jolly Old Man,” otherwise known as Kris Kringle has been appointed to…
Edward Snowden Warns: National Security Agency (NSA) Is Watching You Masturbate
Government whistleblower Edward Snowden warned US citizens today that the NSA has confiscated the cameras of all computers and they are surreptitiously watching all Americans masturbate. “Even when you don’t think you’re online or even when your computer is turned…
Amy Winehouse Found Dead – Rock N Roll Claims Another Casualty
It’s been revealed that British R&B diva, Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her Camden Town flat in north west London. At this point, there has been no confirmed cause of death, but some speculators are of the opinion…