Category: Top Stories
BP Solves the Catastrophe by Creating a Disaster
HOUSTON, Texas (GlossyNews) – 10,000 barrels of crude burning per day. In a move typical of the greed and gluttony of Big Oil, British Petroleum began to burn thousands of barrels of crude oil DAILY captured from the leak in…
Helen Thomas Forced to Wear Scarlet Letter and Apologize
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — Cantankerous malcontent and ex-reporter Helen Thomas, who recently had an unfortunate run-in with the Jewish-owned American media when she accidentally reminded everyone that Palestine is an occupied territory, is the latest celebrity forced to wear the…
Worried Investors Turn to Aluminum
Arkadelphia, AR (GlossyNews) — As fears of a sluggish recovery keep stock markets anemic, more investors are seeking safe haven in aluminum; a metal some call the new platinum. The shift comes as a surprise, even to Wall Street insiders….
Sarah Palin Blames Drill Baby Drill Comments on Evil Twin
Wasilly, AK (GlossyNews) -– Finally, what the American people have been waiting for from Sarah Palin, the truth. No longer do we have to guess why she would backtrack on her famous “Drill, Baby, Drill” comment when, in fact, it…
Top 2010 Investment Tips
New York, NY (BNSE) — Expectations for significant economic growth are foreseen in the second half of 2010, according to a blue ribbon panel of financial, economic, and business leaders. Despite uncertain global economic conditions plagued by mounting international sovereign…
Mexican Recovered from Gulf Oil Spill
Grand Isle, LA (GlossyNews) –A team of marine biologists recovered 120 specimens of wild life from the rapidly spreading oil spill off the coast of Louisiana Wednesday. The team, comprised of staff and students from several Gulf Coast universities, volunteered…
Boehner Boned – Sources Report Complete Liver Failure
Dayton, OH – John Boehner, the house minority leader, except inasmuch as he’s never represented a minority, is suffering from advanced liver disease, according to a medical billing rep at his primary care doctor’s office in Dayton, Ohio. This is…
FlashForward Cancelled, and Five Reasons Why That’s Good
The high-budget ABC sci-fi less-than-thriller known as Flashforward has been canceled, and by a few accounts, it’s a tragedy. By many more accounts, however it’s a good thing, and here are just five of the biggest reasons why that’s actually…
France, Tired Of American Jokes, Takes Back Statue Of Liberty.
Paris, France – France, tired of taking all the crap that it has gotten from the U.S., has retaliated by taking back the Statue of Liberty, once a gift from them. Ever since Bush started the Iraqi war and called…
Coal Mine Canaries Plan Protest Over Working Conditions
Weirton, WVa – A group of canaries have put their tiny talons down once and for all and are claiming they have the most hazardous job in the world and should have a place in line for various government concessions….