Categorized | Serious Commentary

BP Solves the Catastrophe by Creating a Disaster

HOUSTON, Texas (GlossyNews) – 10,000 barrels of crude burning per day. In a move typical of the greed and gluttony of Big Oil, British Petroleum began to burn thousands of barrels of crude oil DAILY captured from the leak in the Gulf which they caused on Earth Day.

BP which caused one of the biggest man made ecological disasters in the history of the planet, in their rush to make billions of dollars, will solve that partially by burning 10,000 barrels of crude a DAY. Yes that was BARRELS per DAY. No one has bothered thus far to figure out how far back that will set efforts to slow air pollutants in the last 40 years, but I’m sure 10,000 cars running 24 hours couldn’t burn 10,000 barrels of crude.

So now we go from filling the ocean with oil to filling the skies with toxins.

British Petroleum should be banned from drilling for oil and certainly banned from solving problems they aren’t prepared to address. All BP is really good at, like any oil company, is making money as quickly and efficiently as they can without any regard for the human or environmental cost.

Long forgotten in this story are the 15 people killed on the rig and the scores injured.

I guess BP figures if it makes enough pollution in the air, maybe we’ll all forget about the ocean. Look how well Exxon has recovered from their disaster.

In the end, I can only wonder why these companies feel entitled to and are allowed to, not only exploit resources that belong to everyone, but are allowed to continue to do it regardless of whatever consequences they cause for the rest of the people and the planet.

Alex Brummer in the Daily Mail today, wrote a story lamenting the woes of the “great company”. Of course no mention of the dead.

Oh well, let’s get in our cars and drive down to the bar and toast another victory for capitalism.

~Rev Mike


This post was written by

- who has written 38 posts on

@rev_rend Reverend Mike is a contributing editor for Glossy News. He was a Combat Chaplain with the Soviet Red Army in the 1980s. A career which he describes as an 'unappreciated field of endeavor'. He later worked as an Information Officer with the TASS News Agency on assignment in White Sands, NM. The collapse of the Soviet Union left him unemployed and homeless. He survived by selling magazine subscriptions door to door disguised as a college coed. He was later kidnapped and taken to Shanghai where he was sold into a white slavery ring. He lived as a concubine for a Japanese music industry mogul until 2002 when a wardrobe malfunction revealed his true identity. He found himself homeless and unemployed again, with only his collection of Polaroid snap shots. Reverend Mike has since scraped together a meagre living by blackmailing Japanese industrialists. Reverend Mike lives in a small 5 bedroom penthouse flat overlooking Central Park in New York City. His hobbies include exotic motorcycles, supermodels and owning small nations....


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
We Made a Movie!

Check us out on Kickstarter!

Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial