Author: Reverend Mike
Obama Imposes Shopping Cart Safety Measures for Kids
BALTIMORE, Maryland (GlossyNews) — The Obama Administration, in another unprecedented exercise of governmental control, has ordered the Consumer Protection Agency to implement sweeping new safety codes to protect children in shopping carts. The strict new rules will carry the force…
Miley Cyrus Posts Topless Photos
HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — Tween idol Miley Cyrus has once again shocked and baffled her fans and detractors this morning by allowing even more shocking and revealing pictures to be posted to the internet. Some of the pictures are obviously…
Catholic Church Finds Innocent Priest, Excommunicates Him
CASTRO STREET, San Fransisco, CA (GlossyNews) — The Catholic Church revealed Saturday morning that they had found one priest in Renton, Washington, whom, they say, has never committed any act of abuse or possibly any sin during his tenure as…
BP Solves the Catastrophe by Creating a Disaster
HOUSTON, Texas (GlossyNews) – 10,000 barrels of crude burning per day. In a move typical of the greed and gluttony of Big Oil, British Petroleum began to burn thousands of barrels of crude oil DAILY captured from the leak in…
Woman Sues Google After Attempting to Cross Street
Reno, NV (GlossyNews) — A Reno NV woman became the second person to sue Google because of an issue with Google Maps. Similar to an earlier action in Park City, UT, the woman, Eustancia Dumas is suing Google for poor…
Gordon “Gordy” Chastain, Philanthropist, Inventor, Diplomat, Dead at Age 4
Biloxi, MS (GlossyNews) — Gordon P Chastain, better known to the world as “Gordy” Chastain has died before his time, at the age of four, due to complications from malnutrition and insufficient pediatric medical care. The child, who was to…
Gov Sanford to Leave GOP; No Longer a ‘Conservative’
Columbia, SC (GlossyNews) — Conservatives, led by newly divorced adulterer, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (exR), whose marriage ended earlier this year after lying about his whereabouts and cheating on his wife, have lost their patience with the news media…
Obama Fails to Appoint Deist to Supreme Court
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — President Obama, refusing to yield to the demands of Tea Party agitators, has once again failed to appoint a Deist to the Supreme Court. Obama has announced that he will nominate Elena Kagan to the court,…
Status Update: Brian White Rejected from Harvard
[Ed Note: This story was originally run on Monday April 12, but we inadvertently left out all of the nouns.] Boston, Mass (GlossyNews) In sad and disappointing news this morning, Glossy News publisher Brian White was informed by officials at…