Category: Biz News
Chick-a-Day Offers “Renewable” Baby Pets
Want to get your daughter an adorable baby chick or bunny, but worry about what will happen when it’s no longer cute? This Connecticut company has the answer; just get a new one every week. Emma Stearner turned eight on…
Employee of the Month Won’t Shut Up About It
INDIANAPOLIS – Having won the ‘Employee of the Month’ award for October, Mulgrove Computer Services agent Matthew Wilcox just will not shut the hell up about it. The 43-year-old customer service agent, who won the award for “highest attainment of…
The Latest Thing In Human Evolution- Interchangeable Body Parts
According to Genesis God made man out of the dust of the earth and woman out of Adams rib- not an especially impressive start. But in the thousands of years since then things have changed and so have we humans….
Occupy Movement has returned in full force (comic)
If you ever wondered what happened to the Occupy movement, you’re not alone. It was once large and flourishing, but the police put a stop to that, and now it’s basically dead… but maybe it’s back, thanks to this recent…
Trump to Open Chain of Children’s Casinos
Free-market capitalist and cranial gopher rescue haven Donald Trump has announced this week that he’ll open a new line of casinos aimed squarely at the children’s market. Many see this as a provocative, or even illegal move, but since all…
McDonald’s Launches Healthy Go-Eat-Elsewhere Option
Responding to ongoing criticism of its nutritional practices, fast food giant McDonald’s today announced its new healthy go-and-eat-somewhere-else option. From December 1st, select McDonald’s chains across the country will be offering several all-new disclaimers on its menu, including “you might…
The Advantage of Having Amish Work on Your Farm
The advantages to having Amish work on your farm: • They won’t be drunk on the job. • They won’t be cussing or spitting. • They won’t chase after your wife or daughter. • They won’t come to work high…
Bangladeshi Woman Rescued After 17 Days Told “Get Back to Work”
Bangladeshi rescuers pulled a garment worker alive from the rubble of a building 17 days after the collapse and immediately ordered her back to work. Referring to her time buried alive as “17 days unauthorized vacation”, the garment factory she…
Coscto Auto-Parts Offers Big Discounts, Bigger Quantities
This week Costco, a warehouse consumer outlet known for low prices on large quantity items, opened it’s first auto parts outlet in Kirkland, Washington. “People want low prices, and we deliver that with volume,” said division manager Marckus Baech. One…
Lawyer Files Class Action Suit Against State Farm Insurance for False Advertising
Blase Inzina has filed a class action suite against State Farm Insurance for claiming that reciting their company jingle would bring an instant representative followed by mystic gain and benefits. State Farm customer Sheila Potekin said her car was attacked…