McDonald’s Launches Healthy Go-Eat-Elsewhere Option

Responding to ongoing criticism of its nutritional practices, fast food giant McDonald’s today announced its new healthy go-and-eat-somewhere-else option.

From December 1st, select McDonald’s chains across the country will be offering several all-new disclaimers on its menu, including “you might want to consider Subway” and “fresh market produce is often a better choice.”

“We want to offer our customer’s a wider variety when it comes to what they eat,” said McDonald’s CEO Jim Skinner. “Do you want a regular cheeseburger with large fries and a drink? Or do you want to head six miles down the road to Bigley’s Fresh Mart? Providing healthy options is part of what we do and I think it’s going to be a big success.”

The measures come in response to similar transitions by the likes of Burger King and KFC, as concerns over America’s struggle with obesity continue.

The go-and-eat-elsewhere option is widely viewed as an effort to curb high calorie intake, but many remain skeptical that the plan will even work.

“Introducing a healthy McDonald’s-isn’t-necessarily-for-you option is not going to cut it,” said health expert Diane Pemberton. “People who eat at McDonald’s are expecting a Big Mac and fries, not an advisory to keep on walking. Most of them have forgotten how to walk.”

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

1 thought on “McDonald’s Launches Healthy Go-Eat-Elsewhere Option

  1. Call me crazy, but if I can watch them make it and tell them what to put in it, it’s got to be better, right? I do Subway and burrito places like QDoba and Chipotle. If it’s unhealthy, it’s my own damn fault, right? That has GOT to be better, doesn’t it?

Comments are closed.