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Real Estate Developer Creating Island Paradise from Garbage

Real Estate Developer Creating Island Paradise from Garbage

PACIFIC OCEAN, 135° to 155°W (GlossyNews) — Entrepreneurs worldwide are being lured by the siren call of opportunity rising from the Pacific. The middle of the Pacific Ocean, that is.

The multinational realty conglomerate, Glutton Realty, has purchased the vortex of marine litter in the central North Pacific Ocean known as the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. The company plans to convert the trash into a new mega-island. With more acreage than the state of Texas at their disposal, speculators anticipate selling these “premium” tropical parcels at astronomical prices. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Environment2 Comments

Dairy Apologizes for “Milf” Misunderstanding

Dairy Apologizes for “Milf” Misunderstanding

CITY OF INDUSTRY, CA (GlossyNews) — Toward the end of World War II in 1945, the Stueve family of California founded Alta Dena Dairy. Throughout the 1950s, it earned a reputation as one of the most innovative farms with its line of healthy choices in dairy products. Today, thousands of consumers in Southern California continue to have milk and other products delivered directly to their homes by Alta Dena. Continue Reading

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Pot Growers Hire PR Firm to Develop Marijuana Marketing Plan

Pot Growers Hire PR Firm to Develop Marijuana Marketing Plan

Los Angeles, CA – “The times, they are a changin’, again,” remarked Henry “Pops” Champion to a group of medical marijuana clinic owners and pot growers who all agree that it is time to finally pull out all the stops in getting marijuana prohibition lifted in California, and eventually, nationwide. Pops has been a lifelong smoker and proponent of legalized marijuana. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News1 Comment

Any Publicity is Good Publicity, Says Toyota

Any Publicity is Good Publicity, Says Toyota

Toyota City, Japan – After a well publicized round of recalls brought to light by the media, Toyota Motor Corporation [NYSE: TM] finally decided one good turn deserves another. Barely two weeks after the countless deaths have finally been tallied, the board recommended a fourth round of recalls supposedly to “ride on the crest” of the first three. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News2 Comments

Atheists Getting Ready to Cash in on The Rapture

Atheists Getting Ready to Cash in on The Rapture

In a post-rapture world, it is believed that atheists and agnostics may be faced with horrendous living conditions on Earth. However, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. With pre- and post-rapture business opportunities already beginning to spring up around the country, life on earth for those of you who aren’t going to make it through to the next round may still have somewhat of a silver lining if you plan ahead. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Religionism5 Comments

Officials Discover Al Qaeda Operating Rogue Aviation Network: Low Fares but Horrible Safety Record

Officials Discover Al Qaeda Operating Rogue Aviation Network: Low Fares but Horrible Safety Record

TIMBUKTU, Mali – In early 2008, an official at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security sent a report to his superiors detailing the most significant development in aircraft usage since 2001: al Qaeda has been operating a rogue aviation network. Francis Baldhamer, the official who issued the report, also noted that this increased competition, which promises fares much lower than U.S. airlines, threatens to weaken the already faltering transportation industry. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, War Zone0 Comments

Fat People Outraged at Having to Pay for Two Plane Seats

Fat People Outraged at Having to Pay for Two Plane Seats

New York, NY Following the recent onslaught on fat people to pay for two seats for a one way, economy class flight, fat people all over the world have finally decided enough is enough with this anatomical discrimination.

Trent Budgwood, chairman of Full Anatomy Travellers ( FAT.org ) an organisation committed to the comfortable travel of above average girthed individuals expressed outrage at the policy being floated by a French airline.

“That episode of ’99 is still as fresh in my mind as my breakfast mozzarella Buffalo milk cheese,” Continue Reading

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Royal Caribbean Announces Educational “How the Other Half Live” Vacations

Royal Caribbean Announces Educational “How the Other Half Live” Vacations

LABADEE, Haiti — There’s an old Haitian proverb: “Behind the mountains, there are mountains.”

Behind those mountains are smaller mountains. Behind those smaller mountains is an enclosure. And behind that enclosure is a tropical paradise rented out to Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines by the Haitian government. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, World News0 Comments

Job-Saving Tips For Looking Important At Work

Job-Saving Tips For Looking Important At Work

Hello again. Since good jobs are hard to find and higher ups are often looking for staff to trim, today I am going to share with you some of my favorite tips for looking important in the workplace.

We all know that in the workplace, perception becomes reality, i.e. the more important you look the more important people will think you are. So the tips I will share with you today are useful to all employees, from the lowest levels to the executive on the move. So here are my tips for looking important. Continue Reading

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Diploma Xpress Accuses Competition of Poor Quality Fake Diplomas

Diploma Xpress Accuses Competition of Poor Quality Fake Diplomas

In another case of a war of words in the cutthroat man-eat-man business of fake certificates, diplomaxpress.com a leading diploma mill, berated it’s main rival succeedonline.com for producing substandard fake diplomas for the market. Sure, the degrees are as false as any, but the quality of the physical diplomas are, according to some, of lackluster production value. Continue Reading

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Tips on Keeping Your Job in a Sucky Economy

Tips on Keeping Your Job in a Sucky Economy

Well I am still employed! So things can’t be too bad. Every day while having my coffee and donuts, I read about massive layoffs and wonder if the ax will ever fall over here. So today I am going to offer some valuable tips to the working men and woman of America on how to look busy at work so you don’t get your lazy assets fired. Continue Reading

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Important Tips For Tax Deductions (Regardless of What Your Brother-In-Law Says)

Important Tips For Tax Deductions (Regardless of What Your Brother-In-Law Says)

Alcatraz, CA – Thinking about deducting those drinks that you had Friday night as a business expense? You are not alone. Looking for some last minute tax deductions? Well, we can’t help you, but we do have some tips on deductions to help you avoid the wrath of the IRS. IRS 1040 Tax Form. Continue Reading

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