Category: Sports Events
Denver’s Offensive Playbook Found
Rutherford, New Jersey – Following the Denver Broncos horrific 43-8 loss in Super Bowl XLVIII to the Seattle Seahawks at MetLife Stadium, fans were left scratching their heads trying to determine what happened to the NFL’s top ranked offense that…
Sober Russians Pose Security Threat At Sochi
Each week the Russian military, secret police and Sochi security authorities receive dozens of homemade videos made by ethnic Russians threatening terrorist attacks on innocent civilians at the Sochi Olympics. Almost all are dismissed as the drunken rankings of misfits,…
George Zimmerman To Box Black Ewok
Alamo, TX – Boxing promoter Damon Feldman announced today he has inked a deal for cult neighborhood watch leader George Zimmerman to fight black dwarf actor Tony Cox in a celebrity boxing match to be held in Selma, Alabama on…
What Would Have Happened Had The Packers Played The Seahawks For The Super Bowl
Far beyond the reaches of normal men’s consciousnesses there exists a part of the etheric worlds where what could have been still can be. All events as remembered by the minds of men are not held fast in memories lock,…
49ers PR Office Readies for Mass Suicide Sunday Night
The San Francisco 49ers had a terrible 12-4 season, but this Sunday they face the Seattle Seahawks with a stunning 13-3 regular season record. Facing certain defeat, 49ers fans are widely expected to commit mass, ritual suicide. The Seahawks have…
The Changes to European Club Rugby – Americans Indifferent
There are massive changes afoot in the world of Rugby Union. While there has been some agreement recently as to the future of the sport, there are still many obstacles to overcome. Following an 18-month impasse, the six unions involved…
Glossy Staff Admits Butt-Hurt After Reaming by NRA Riled Redneck Brigade
The staff of Glossy news is busy licking their wounds today after a fierce word-lashing by a number of drive-by commentator fan(atic)s of the NRA. While a few commenters stand out in the article, the sum of their words was…
American Team Favored to Win 2013 World Series
ST. LOUIS – The St. Louis Cardinals made history Friday when they became the 104th American team to win the World Series. With their 6-2 victory over the Texas Rangers in game 7, The Cardinals extended the United States’ formidable…
So Long, Farewell, Adieu: The End is Coming and it Will Get You Too
Greetings dear Readers! [EDITOR’S NOTE: Due to the advice of what later turned out to be a con artist, this article was not reviewed for publication prior to the end of days deadline. We had been assured that the world…
Mean Colts Getting Fans’ Hopes Up Again
INDIANAPOLIS – In what was arguably designed as a mean prank yesterday, the Indianapolis Colts conspired to build up the hopes of millions of Hoosiers by recording their first victory of the season against the Tennessee Titans. Avoiding a 14th…