Category: Strange People
Teachers Stigmatize Pupils Due Birth Names
Shit-for-brains UK teachers with an NVQ1 diploma in Advanced Guesswork claim they can tell which pupils are likely to play up or be the local Anti-Christ incarnate simply by looking at their names – according to a recent government survey.
False Flag Burka Gang Strike Again
A burka-clad man – or woman – was part of a gang of armed raiders being hunted by police after pirate DVDs worth an estimated £100 were stolen from the Smegmadale branch of Cockbuster Video.
Literal Dog Gang Finally Collared
A pack of mutts known locally as the Manky Mongrel Gang have been arrested by a joint action team of police and the RSPCA’s elite Canine Squad officers following the discovery of £3,000 of stolen pet food during a raid…
Cloak of Death Nets $1M at Sotheby’s Auction
New York, NY – The New York office of Sotheby’s has disclosed that the original Cloak of Death, worn by Death himself, has been auctioned off for the amazing sum of $1M. The cloak was reportedly put up for auction…
Sexy Prison Guard Too Gorgeous, Fired
A female prison officer was forced out of her job after being bullied because she was considered too pretty to enforce discipline, a Smegmadale Employment Tribunal heard this week. Fellatia Sodomberg, 27, a former Albanian BD/SM Pro-Dominatrix, is claiming constructive…
Glenn Beck Show Saved By Good Ol’ Boy Advertisers
Glenn Beck is seeing his conventional ad revenues dry up due to his escalation of hate rhetoric, but the redneck community is coming to his aid to help keep him on the air.
Mansour Biden Unleashed
Washington – At a hastily called press briefing yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden blasted the New York Times for asserting in an editorial that a highly classified document on American missile defense was made public accidentally.
Bush Commands AF-1 Due South to Greenland, Stays the Course
Mere minutes into Air Force One’s flight from Andrews Air Force Base to Greenland, it was reported that President Bush entered the flight deck with commands to “Continue your southerly heading.” The President, known for his resolve, was undeterred by…
Viagra Adopts White Rabbit as Jingle – “Feed Your Head”
Pfizer has released their newest series of commercials for the highly popular erectile dysfunction drug, Viagra. During a New York Yankees game last week Pfizer debuted their new commercial. The new advertising campaign abandons their previous approach of “Blue pill…
Head Allegedly Weighs “Like 500 Pounds”
Don’t think I don’t see all you proud people walking around with your gigantic melons held high. It bugs me like a plague of locusts because I’m proud too, but my pigeon-bobby noggin weighs more than the sun and the…