Category: Strange People
Glenn Beck Threatens to Create New Religion “Ameri-Mormonistianity”
Coming off the self-proclaimed super success of his Restoring Honor Rally in Washington, D.C., Glenn Beck has reached the level of leadership needed to take his prophetic brand of hegemony to the next level. But is his firebrand flavor of…
92-Year-Old Pervert Arrested After Metro Bus Grope Fest
Branson, MO. – A senior citizen bus trip from the Days End senior home in Louisville, KY to Branson, Mo, a popular tourist spot in SW Missouri, has caused some trouble for the old folks and a serious run in…
Boston Rave “Mystery Pills” Found to be Bathtub Sponge Toys
Last Saturday, over a dozen “rave” party-goers were taken to hospital in the Boston suburb of Cambridge. The ostensible culprit was “bad ecstasy”, but the pills, sold for $25 to $35 each, turned out to be nothing more than novelty…
California Goes Green by Harnessing Hatred of Prop 8 Proponents
HUNTINGTON BEACH, California (GLossyNews) — A California scientist has come up with a novel idea: He has learned to harness the hatred of millions of bigoted Californians to create energy and make minorities rich in the process. Doctor Eli Lafitte,…
Kagan Birth Certificate Controversy
ODESSA, Texas Commonwealth (GlossyNews) — While it was initially believed Elena Kagan’s Supreme Court nomination would move ahead with only token opposition, such hopes are fading as Congress begins the summer recess. Backed by the Tea Party affiliated Citizens for…
Mel Gibson Tortures Wife During Racist Rant while World Looks Away
TEXARKANA, Texas (GlossyNews) — Melvin, or Mel, Gibson, a 75-year-old redneck from Rockdale, Texas, stood on the corner of Cameron Ave and Main this morning. He was dressed in the requisite T-shirt and stained khaki work pants and holding a…
GOP Rakes Obama for Buying 3 ‘Racist’ Kringles
RACINE, Wisconsin (GlossyNews) — On the way into the city of Racine, Wisconsin from the Milwaukee airport, President Obama was googling around on his Blackberry and he found a local pastry shop. From there, everything started to go wrong.
Wannabe, White, Rapper Jives For Job — Still Unemployed
VENICE BEACH, California (GlossyNews) — Nineteen year old Malibu’s Most Wanted clone, Josh Milton, is feeling good vibes after his first real job interview. He successfully answered each question with, what can only be explained as, a convulsive fit of…
Far Right Kicks Off ‘Cheney For Dictator’ Campaign
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION in Northern Southern Wyoming (GlossyNews) — The wheels are already grinding under the Dick Cheney for Dictator campaign of 2012. The former President of Vice of the United States announced his candidacy at a meeting of Corporations For…
Sexless Couple Protects World from Creeping Metaphor
CHOPPER KNOB, Texas (GlossyNews) — Joe and Loretta McClure, who have not laid a finger on one another in the last 20 years of marriage, are local heroes after assassinating a coral snake they spotted last Sunday afternoon. The McClures…