Category: Religionism
Same Sex Jail Romance Leads to Kentucky Clerk’s Change of Heart
Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis, who refused to issue gay marriage licenses and was taken into federal custody for contempt of court, has posted bond and been released after having a change of heart in jail. After experiencing what she called…
Vatican Ruthlessly Canonizes Ungrateful Dead Infidel
A scandalous leaked document from the Vatican highlights an utterly disgraceful and absolutely unbelievable lapse of judgment on the part of top Church authorities… One which will almost certainly make the Church’s reputation plummet to unprecedented depths. But what is…
Megachurch Enterpreneur Launches Hostile Takeover of Vatican
Pope Francis has recently denounced the efforts by notable megachurch entrepreneur Merle Swaggett to buy out the Vatican and run the Church on a more modern basis: The Catholic Church has been around for a fairly long time, but there…
New Church Dictates the Jailed Must Get Steak, Lobster, Internet
Separation of Church & State means a prison can’t tell you what to eat. They can’t force you to eat pork and, this church hopes, they cannot deny you lobster. Jails are terrible [citation needed] and inmates often do anything…
Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran
Pat Robertson is concerned at the mortal peril certain “bad folks” pose to people in the USA, and just this once, he’s not been shy to get to the root of the problem. Now, listen carefully, my dear friends. If…
Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (3/3)
Here are the rest of the commandments the Watchtower is graciously bestowing on the followers of Jehovah… In order to facilitate any relatively ethical, accountable and non-abusive uses of the generally satanic and perniciously demonic spiritual technology known as “blood…
Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (2/3)
Last time: OOF! Well, that was a nice Godly-Gish-sermon to tire you out. Now that you’re on the ropes, I’ll rush through the more embarrassing bit. But what could it possibly be? (Psst! Cryptic and mysteriously recondite hint… READ THE…
Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (1/3)
Well, it only took me a day to beat The Respect Police! 😛 And to publish my astonishing revelation of the boundless grace, mercy and abhorrently irrational bullshit… That Lord Jehovah (of Watchtower celebrity fame and stardom) dispenses to his…
Texas GOP Passes Bill Forcing Men to Have Pre-Vasectomy Sonograms
In a surprising upset for gender equality groups, the Texas GOP passed a bill requiring men to have sonograms prior to receiving vasectomies. This includes a three-day waiting period before going through with this “unGodly” procedure of “tearing asunder what…
Sinister Spooks Threaten GlossyNews re: Forthcoming Jehovah Smackdown
Wallace Runnymede has been threatened with legal action by malign and powerful West Coast bureaucratic forces that he is strictly forbidden to name… On account of his anticipated smackdown on the Jehovah’s Witnesses sect. GlossyNews? Well, that as well. Still,…