Sinister Spooks Threaten GlossyNews re: Forthcoming Jehovah Smackdown


Wallace Runnymede has been threatened with legal action by malign and powerful West Coast bureaucratic forces that he is strictly forbidden to name…

On account of his anticipated smackdown on the Jehovah’s Witnesses sect.

GlossyNews? Well, that as well.

Still, as Wallace Runnymede delights in pissing all over third rails, this is not such a problem for him.

More importantly, notable krap-aid-cult and edgy fringe spiritual-dogmatising-club, Jehovah’s Witnesses, has finally given permission for children to get blood transfusions.

This is perhaps marginally disappointing for any highly principled readers who, like a certain percentage of JWs, would infinitely prefer to have their child stone-cold-solid and six-foot-under…

Than undergo a crucial medical procedure that might merely save their lives…

Given that a blood transfusion is always and inevitably a cheap-ass medical-chauvinist trade-off.

A malicious trade-off which, all too often, is cynically and opportunistically purchased at the demonic, Faustian price of offending the sacrosanct religious sensibilities of any transfusion-opposing “parents” (sic).

Parents who graciously value the precious, tender, infinitely inscrutably spiritual feelings of Jehovah over the meagre and cosmically inconsequential lives of all us mere earthly and material creatures of flesh and blood.

Still, the good news is that (funnily enough), this is not technically a sign that the Watchtower has been in error in the past.

… Well I mean, that would just blow your freaky little mind, wouldn’t it?

Oh, wait, I’ve just been told this piece is unnecessarily provocative, because the “sincerely held” (sic) religious convictions of powerless victims of Moloch, um, of individuals, are sacrosanct from all mockery, ridicule and blasphemy.

Still, I’m going to try and run the transcript through as soon as ever I can. I’m kinda hateful like that.

Oh… and sorry. I know the First Amendment teaches that ‘freedom of speech demands accountability.’

But that’s just the way I troll, um, roll.

Well, it’s a bit more wounding to be cruelly deprived of a life-saving blood transfusion than to have your petty, expediently-held spiritual convictions held up to scorn and ridicule, right?

Think on.

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!