Category: Religionism
Brazil to Place 42-foot Mitre Atop Christ the Redeemer Statue
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Glossy News) – News of the new Christ the King statue being erected in Swiebodzin, Poland that will be the tallest Christ statue in the world has Brazilians a bit ticked off. Brazil’s Christ the Redeemer…
Recession Success of Walmart, McDonalds Proves God “Kind of a Jerk”
As a sign of His contempt for mankind and its ways, God has played the biggest practical joke of all time by allowing the worst exploiters of the economy and the human work force to be the only ones making…
Historians: Brigham Young May Have Been Black, Hams Rejoice
Historians have discovered that Brigham Young, the second Prophet and President of the LDS (Mormon) Church was actually black. Dr. Hyrum Kimball at Northern Utah State University revealed his controversial findings at a symposium of Mormon History marking the 180th…
Jesus Declines Dinner Invite from Congresswoman Michele Bachmann
“Sorry, Michele, I’m busy that night,” was the unfortunate reply to Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann’s invitation to dinner to none other than Jesus Christ, her personal Lord and Savior. The woman from Minnesota was crushed. “Sure, I got definite yeses from…
Westboro Baptist Sues God Claiming He “Doesn’t Really Mind Fags”
Washington, DC (GlossyNews.com): The Westboro Baptist Church, the controversial religious sect best known for protesting the funerals of slain war veterans and their “God Hates Fags” protest signs, announced a startling lawsuit against God in Federal District Court today. According…
‘Eat-A-Turd for the Taliban’ Big Success In Tribal Afghanistan
AFGHANISTAN (GlossyTribalNews) — In the remote tribal areas of Afghanistan, the Taliban declared today as the official “Eat A Turd For Muhammad Day.” Hundreds of armed Taliban fighters visited scores of remote tribal villages and forced village people at gunpoint…
God Releases His Bible Tablet Beta 0.92
MT. ARARAT, ISRAEL —GlossyNews In a rather earth-shaking display today, God has brought the Burning World Bible Tablet to “My People on earth”, as he said in a poorly attended news conference called by Pope B*dict XVI by teleconference from…
Jehovah’s Witness Probe Widens, Officials Going Door-to-Door
Tallahatchie County DA Kirk Shatner gazes into the distance when pressed on his crusade against the Jehovah Witness organization. “Oh yeah, I know what some people say. That I’m picking on an unpopular minority in blatant appeal to the fundamental…
Preacher Claims Bible Written About Other Earth-Like Planet
BAYNARD’S BOTTOM, Tennessee (GlossyNews) — A retired Methodist Minister claims that the Bible which supposedly depicts the history of our planet since the time God created it and everything in it was really written about another planet. He claims that…
Recently Discovered Noah’s Ark Artifacts Destroyed in Quran Bonfire Mishap
MOUNT ARARAT, Turkey (GlossyNews) — In the close-knit evangelical archeological community, few can recall more dizzying heights and tragic lows in such a short time span. The Xinyou Qing Project (rough English translation, ‘We go find Ark now’) first grabbed…