Jesus Declines Dinner Invite from Congresswoman Michele Bachmann

“Sorry, Michele, I’m busy that night,” was the unfortunate reply to Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann’s invitation to dinner to none other than Jesus Christ, her personal Lord and Savior. The woman from Minnesota was crushed.

“Sure, I got definite yeses from Adam, the first man, and George Washington. I even got a definite maybe from Johann Bach, whose music would make a lovely background for the pheasant dinner I’ve got planned,” said Bachmann. “But not having Jesus there, well, I’ve waited all my life for this moment and I definitely feel he’s let me down.”

Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!

Bachmann was asked who she would ask to take the place of Jesus now that she definitely won’t be dining with the Son of God. “Well, I’ve got a B list. Everyone who is a good hostess has a B list you know. And I’ve got Ann Coulter advising me on this very important choice. I suppose at this late date, all we can hope for is a yes from our fellow non-feminist, Phyllis Schlafly. Really, next to Jesus, she ultimately shaped my life. Without her influence, I might be a (God-forbid) single mother or worse, a divorcee.”

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at ISaidLaughDammit.blogspot.com.