Category: Religionism
Evangelicals Target Home Depot’s Despotism
To casual observers Kathy Klavan might seem just another middle class homemaker raising her children in this Atlanta suburb, but her heart burns with a defining passion. She wants Home Depot punished for its efforts to destroy America. “Yeah, Calvin…
Taliban Starts Rightist Evangelical Branch in U.S.
The Taliban, recognizing the similarities between their doctrines and that of the Christian Right, have started an Evangelical Taliban branch in the U.S. Spokesman Tali Wozati stated “Although Christian fundamentalists are heathen dogs who will burn in Hell fire for…
Communicate with Ghosts? There’s an App for That
Raleigh NC – GlossyNews.com – For unemployed twentysomething Reginald J Wainsborough the good news was that when his Uncle Harley died a month ago he left Reginald a diamond brooch worth $1 million. The bad news was that Uncle Harley’s…
Micro-Religions Gain Market Share to Chagrin of Mega-Churches
This year’s Nielsen Prayer Ratings, considered an important indicator of sociological trends, put numbers to anticipated demographic shifts, yet contained surprises too. While “Please don’t let her be pregnant” prayers showed expected growth among males 18-25, the 2011 NPR garnered…
East Texas Town Succumbs to Old-Fashioned Steapl Chase
Raisin, TX-The East Texas town of Raisin has found itself in a predictable predicament culminating from the holier-than-thou atmosphere that often pervades small towns across the United States. When you approach Raisin, a town of 2500 that sits in a…
Shocking Truth Behind Highest Level Religious Moves Towards Social Media
THE VATICAN, ROME —BobZaguy Socio-political similarities have surfaced between the two most famous world-class conservative church leaders who publicly don’t seem to pay much mind to each other. However, two bone-shaking statements were made a few days apart by the…
God Confirms Intervention in Florida School Board Shooting
Panama City, FL. (GlossyNews.com) – School superintendent Bill Husfelt, who survived a gunman’s vendetta during a board meeting on Tuesday, claims God protected him when suspect Clay Duke opened fire on him and his colleagues. “God was standing in front…
Mitre Spins as Vatican Does Safety Dance U-Turn
The mother Church of Christendom was roiled this week by excerpts from a new book by Pope Benedict LVMCIII. The book, “Because I said So” has stirred controversy due to several passages wherein the Pontiff clarifies condom use. Somewhere in…
Jesus: “I Need a Militia Like I Need an A-hole on My Elbow”
ALANSON, Mich. (Glossy News) — When news reached Heaven that a Midwestern militia was discovered training Jesus on handling the upcoming rapture, the Son of God laughed and exclaimed, “I need a militia to help me like I need an…
Obama’s Sainthood Measure Stalls at The Vatican
Vatican City (GlossyNews.com) – Monsignor Alda Frattelli has responded to tabloid claims that the proposed Sainthood for American president, Barack Obama, has been tabled for now and his Holiness will review it in about ten or twenty years. “Yes, that…