Category: Society
Comatose Broncos Fan Awakens to Horrible Reality
A Denver Broncos fan who has been in a coma since 5 minutes into the Superbowl has finally awakened and close friends are unsure how to tell him what happened. According to witnesses, Tindell Higby III, a University of Colorado…
North/South Korea Talks Falter, Cancel Family Reunion
High level negotiations establishing a reunion for separated families in North and South Korea broke down Wednesday over a miscommunication on venue. After several weeks it was believed representatives had agreed to hold the event at Disney World this August…
Tea Party Calls for Deportation Of Illegal South African Minors
In a rare show of solidarity, three major Tea Party groups have come together and issued a joint statement calling for the arrest and deportation of illegal minors in South Africa. “Illegals are law breaking free loaders who steal jobs…
Mysterious Oracle Appears in Sedona; Predicts Ugly Future for Wealthiest
Now may not be the best time to win the Mega Lottery or come into an inheritance from your wealthy relatives, according to a new young Oracle who has mysteriously appeared in Sedona, Arizona, and has begun predicting the future….
Billionaire Tom Perkins says “Poor Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Vote”
In a stunning turnaround, billionaire and silicon valley legend Tom Perkins who earlier this month compared the plight of the rich to nazi holocaust victims, stated that the poor should not be allowed to vote at all. “They’re dirty, they’re…
To Avoid Drought Disaster, California Governor Asks Residents to Pee Outside
In a desperate attempt to avoid a statewide water shortage, California governor Jerry Brown has requested that all men and women in the state pee outside in the woods, on the lawn or in a garden area. “These are desperate…
US Health and Human Services Recommends Twerking for Seniors
The US Health and Human Services (HHS) has issued a health advisory recommending twerking for seniors. The advisory states “People over 50 may want to consider adding twerking exercises to their workout routines. As people age stiffer joints, slower recovery…
Man Sues Porn Industry for Making Sex Boring
Dateline: LOS ANGELES–Eduard Garbanzo, a plumber and avid consumer of internet pornography, is suing several top producers of porn for having made sex commonplace and boring. “There’s too much nudity on the internet,” he protests. “They’ve saturated the market, those…
Jihadist Gets The 72 Virgins That He So Richly Deserves
The Gates To Glory opened wide to accept young Jasheed as he entered the Jihadist Heaven he worked so hard to deserve. His trainers had always indoctrinated him on the wonders that would await him there were he to prove…
Comfort Cooking that Won’t Give you a Heart Attack* — Video
Love grilled cheese but don’t care if it tastes like feet? You can have the best of neither world in this GlossyNews exclusive cooking presentation. Really? A sandwich with healthy ingredients that tastes as good as a bacon-wrapped fried chicken…