Category: Society
Chaseable Pigeons Revel in Survival-Based Fitness
Unbeknownst to most animals, they are among the chaseable creations. I have proven that even scavenger and parasite species that require our presence to survive are never more than a few rapid steps away from being chased. Research further proves…
PA Prudes Ignore Carbon Footprint
Wanksie, Pennsylvania (Dingbat News) – Chlamydia Muffrot, a 94-year old grandmother, was tasered and handcuffed, then charged with ‘domestic terrorism’ by brain-dead Homeland Security goons for pegging out her laundry on a clothesline strung between trees outside her 18th Century…
Not Guilty – by Reason of Being Asleep
A husband who killed his wife by strangling her while he was purportedly asleep and dreaming about fighting off a gang of burglaring scally yobs who broke into his camper van to steal the latest version of the X-Box video…
Cameroon Corruption: Force 9 on Beaufort Scale
Amidst a growing maelstrom of rumour, gossip and scandal Cameroon’s security chief Rastus Chuckabutty has finally admitted some 300,000 people hoping to get jobs in the police force have written, phoned or e-mailed him directly begging for preferential treatment –…
Minneapolis Bridge To Somewhere, Presumably
Interstate 35W Bridge in Minneapolis, MN — Yes, you got it right! Gov. Sarah Palin was on the scene for the grand opening of the I35W bridge that really does go somewhere. “It is kind of on the cutting edge….
Mall Santas to Goldman Sachs: Hand Over the Vaccine
New York, NY – In a jolly but firm tone, the Association of Mall Santas (AMS) has issued a formal demand to Wall Street giant Goldman Sachs to hand over all their doses of the swine flu vaccine to the…
Ask Hank: Trailer Park Pursuit
Dear Hank, I’m pretty sure my sister in law totally wants me. She’s gross, but I guess I’d still go make it happen if I thought my girl wouldn’t find out. Doesn’t matter. I’m conflicted. On the one hand it…
Party Animal Gaddafi Goes Bonkers
Two hundred gold-digging Italian slappers bit off more than they could chew last Sunday night after answering a recruitment ad’ to attend a posh wine and dine shagfest do in the salubrious and elegant suburbs of exotic Rome. However canapés…
Robo-Rat: the Future of Service-Free Pets
Worried about getting your youngsters a pet for Christmas – a cuddly kitten or puppy –then face the moral conscience dilemma of having to go and dump it up the arse end of the wilderness a few weeks later –…
Building Overtakes Basketball… Poms Excel
The Women of Notre Dame officially opened their basketball season on the 15th against unranked University of Arkansas-Pine Bluff at the newly renovated Purcell Pavilion of the Joyce Athletic and Convocation Center. The 102 to 57 rout of UAPB was…