Chaseable Pigeons Revel in Survival-Based Fitness

Unbeknownst to most animals, they are among the chaseable creations. I have proven that even scavenger and parasite species that require our presence to survive are never more than a few rapid steps away from being chased. Research further proves that these chased critters just love being pursued.

For my research I used pigeons. It’s not because they are simple, though that’s true, and it’s not because they’re durable, though that seems to be the case as well. I chose pigeons because we were at a park when my brother yelled out, “Dominic, chase the birds!”

Maybe the research study is really on me, but I’m a classically trained (or at least conditioned) creature of habit so when I heard it I couldn’t help myself but comply. I tore off after those birds with grabby, higher mammal paws outstretched, trying my best to reign them in for a quick hug.

I’m a lot like a horse whisperer, but with pigeons, and I’m more of a frantic screamer than anything else.

At first the outside observer may think I’m being cruel, but perhaps it’s my inherently crumby scent that draws them to me, as they kept drawing near to me for additional rounds of being chased.

The outside observer would then be wise to wonder if I have a desire to contract an avian illness, but my handlers intermittently shoed birds away from me, and me away from birds, so such an opportunity could not arise.

If you’re ever in a plaza, park, or nearly any urban setting, consider the chaseable pigeons yourself for fitness. Statistically speaking, you need a good run and it’s almost equally likely the birds do too, so if not for yourself, do it for the birds.

And if you think that chasing pigeons is for the birds, you’re right. They need it as much as we do, and it’s really great fun, even if you don’t catch any.

I’m sure there’s a strategy to catching them though I don’t want to know it. The thrill is in the hunting not the catching, so count me among the blissfully unaware. And if there are pigeons of the unchaseable variety, I hope not to meet any. Where would be the fun in that?

toddler chasing pigeons
Above – As close as they may appear, don’t be fooled, these birds will take flight quicker than you can beleive, even if only for the mere sake of very survival.

chasing pigeons at the park
Above – Run like hell, like the wind, or like crazy if you prefer, but don’t be surprised if you come up with only a few errant feathers as your trophy. It’s not that these birds are smart, it’s that they’ve faced faster chasers than you before. Do not be discouraged nor take it personally, it’s just what they do to avoid being eaten by bigger animals all the time.

Author: Dominic Benjamin

Dominic Benjamin set the world record as the youngest journalist when he delivered his first news segment from inside the womb. In the years since then he's published hundreds of articles on topics ranging from toys to politics, and grown almost as many teeth as he's subsequently lost. You can read more of his work on Perplexing Times or Montana with Kids. Also, he really likes candy.

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