Category: Society
Mother of World’s Hairiest Baby Hospitalized
A 36 year-old woman is undergoing psychiatric testing after it was discovered that she was unaware that the child she had been pushing around in a pram for the last 5 years was in fact a dog. The dog, known…
Vice-President Biden Begins Doping for Debate
Last week the big news for the 2012 presidential election was the worse-than-expected performance of President Obama in his match-up with former Governor, and Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney. Although Obama was able to firmly demonstrate that he did have…
Pathetic, Dilapidated Barn Still Most Exciting Thing to See For Over 100 Miles
SEYMOUR, IN – Though it has mostly deteriorated following decades of adverse weather conditions, poor upkeep and termite infestation, a pathetic and dilapidated barn remains the single most exciting thing for about a hundred miles. Constructed in the 1920s, the…
Nine Foods to Eat to Prevent a Hangover
You know how it is when you’ve had too much to drink. You want anything you can find to counteract the poison, so you do anything you can to feel better. Or do you? But there are actual things you…
Study Reveals Commitment Desire from Male Subjects
A recent study from the New England Journal of Medicine reveals what some men, and one man in particular, is thinking when it comes to commitment and relationship. The particular subject was a man in his 20s when the study began, but even as the study progressed, his persistence continued.
Lewd, Lascivious Lawyer Legal Literature
A LEWD, LASCIVIOUS LOOK AT OUR LOCAL LAW LIBRARY. They say that lawyers are a breed apart. In fact, we should wonder if they should really even be considered a part of the human species at all, especially as evidenced…
Burger King, Dairy Queen Conclude Royal Tour of Man’s Intestines
FORT WAYNE – The ruling monarchs of the fast food industry, Burger King and Dairy Queen, concluded their recent tour of local man Patrick McMillan’s small intestine Thursday, ending a successful domestic engagement. The Royals were also treated to a…
Hoffa Digs Romney
The search for Jimmy Hoffa has uncovered the unexpected. Shreds of paper found embedded within core samples of earth removed from beneath the concrete driveway of a suburban Detroit home where Hoffa reportedly lie buried appear to be the missing…
GlossyNews Finds Man Who’s Never Heard of Obama or Romney
(GlossyNews) — Deep in the swamps of Louisiana, reporters for GlossyNews have discovered a man who has never heard of either presidential candidate. He is believed to be the last of his kind. Inviting the curious journalists inside his spacious…
Report Finds Today Crappiest Day Since Forever
INDIANAPOLIS – A new report conducted by professors at Indiana University has found that today – Tuesday, September 25th, 2012 – has been, like, the crappiest day ever. It’s not gonna lie, continued the report, this has been one utterly…